0343: My Inner Life – Chapter 16

Title: My Inner Life
Author: Link’s Queen
Media: Video game
Topic: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Genre: Nonsense
Critiqued by: BatJamags; Delta XIII; Linstar; MisterShoebox; Ben the Destroyer; Yuki, la poetèsse de neige 

EDITING NOTE: This was meant to go up a little over twenty-four hours ago, but I somehow scheduled it for the complete wrong day and time? Uh, anyway, it exists now.

Bats: Hello, wardens and lunatics! This is going to be a short one, since the previous and next chunks work out better this way. I’m sure you’re all disappointed.

Delta:

Ls: This sounds… promising?

Shoe: At least it’s short. Yaaaaay.

Benji: I don’t have an excuse when I fall asleep again. 

*Alarms blare early*

Bats: I- what? What happened?! We haven’t even started the fi-

*The DRD arrives early, before they normally would, preemptively breaking into the riffing chamber before they have cause to and capturing a worm, which they take.*

Bats: I, um, that was… certainly something that just happened.

Ls: I’m not sure why, though.

Bats: Uh, anyway, let’s move on…

Down the Road

Bats: … shall we?

Bats: (One benefit of only doing one chapter is fewer of my lame segues.)

Ls: They are in fact not lame; I love your segues, Bats! 

As winter arrived early (earlier then normal) 

Yuki: Gee, thanks, Captain Obvious.

Ls: We know what “early” means! Using that word implies an expected time frame, you don’t need to tell us that!

Bats: … Oh, I get it now.

Ls: Stupid early DRD. Just show up ten minutes late, like normal people!

Benji: Winter is coming! Fingers crossed for some Game of Thrones shit. 

the cold winds became too much for the crops to handle. 

Ls: How exactly do Hyrule seasons work again?

Benji: The only Zelda game I’ve seen with seasons is Oracles of Seasons, which isn’t even set in Hyrule. 

I had to go harvest what we had before the snow started to fall. Since we had a storage room bellow the house, 

Ls: That must be one loud storage room!

Bats: Or it’s just very surprised by something going on at the house.

Link and I harvested what crops we had and stored them in the food cellar. 

Ls: Wait, then what is the storage room for?

Delta: Maybe the bodies of those who were immune to the Suefluence and had to be… taken care of?

Bats: Jenna’s needlessly elaborate and triforce-laden wardrobe?

Then we moved all of the animals into the barn to keep them from getting sick.

Yuki: Are we getting an actual story some time soon?

Shoe: We haven’t had one yet.

Bats: Shockingly… kind of, eventually, shortly before the fic peters out.

Bats: Not a good story, not much of a story, but indeed kind of a story.

After the preparations were made, we waited for the winter snow.

Shoe: Who the hell cares about your farm duties, lady? I mean, at least when you’re writing scenes where you fuck your boytoy it’s at least “So bizarre you can’t tear your eyes away from it” but this is just DULL. A great man once said “Boring is worse than bad.” His name was me.

Ls: If I wanted to read Little House on the Prairie, I’d read that.

Benji: Ever wonder why I fall asleep whilst reading this?

Ls: MIL is pretty soporific, I’ll grant.

A few days later the snow begun to fall. It got real cold in the house so I had to stay by the fire with our small son. Link Jr was now four months old. And getting cuter with each passing day. He was now crawling, and when he gets on the floor he crawls everywhere. 

Shoe: As opposed to…what? Pogo-sticking? Dancing? Riding a tiny Cucco? 

Benji: Surprised Junior isn’t walking by now, knowing the Sue’s grasp of time. 

I was starting to teach our son at his early age. 

Ls: You know what they say; those who can’t, teach.

Benji: And those who can’t teach, become critics. 

Delta: So what does that say about us, exactly, given that we’re critiquing right now?

Bats: We do it because those who can’t critique write.

Ls: This does not give me much faith in humanity.

While Link went to the castle to work with his men I stayed home to teach and care for our son. Even though I provided most of the teaching, Link did his part as well. I watched when there were a many a day when Link would stay home just to be with our son. 

Ls: Was he teaching the oh-so-specific Ideas and Concepts too?

Delta: Can’t forget Lessons and Knowledge, either.

Ls: Those ones are ok. Not even great, ok.

I knew how much our son meant to him. Next to me Link Jr was his pride and joy.

Shoe: *Giggles immaturely*.

Since the snow was bad this year, I stayed by the fire most of the day, each day I would read to him. I wanted him to grow up smart at an early age. 

Ls: And reading to him will accomplish this so much better than just talking to him?

Benji: Wouldn’t playing classical music or something be better at ‘making him smart’, especially since he’s only a baby?

Link and I agreed that with each child we had we would start teaching them as soon as possible.

One night I was sitting by the fire

Yuki: Can you shut up about the fire?

Ls: She’s just really good at dodging my flamethrower.

Shoe:

with Link and our son teaching him to read. Link had a children’s book that taught kids how to count.

Shoe:…At four months. You’re trying to teach your child to read and count at FOUR MONTHS OLD. I mean, I dunno how much the brain is developed at four months old but I DO know we don’t really develop a long-term memory until two years old. So this isn’t doing LJ any good, is it?!

Ls: LQ, this is absurd.

 As Link pointed to the pictures that showed how to add our son did something amazing. “See my son, if you take two apples and add them to the one you already have.” “You get three apples.” Link said as he pointed to the pictures. “See, one plus two is three.” Link smiled as our son pointed to the pictures. Then the next thing he did was shocking. “So my son what do you get when you add one and two?” “Three.” Link answered. Just then our son pointed to the single apple, then to the two apples then he held up three fingers before looking at his father and giggling.

Ls: Ah, the Dr. Zaon College for Infant Education produces another graduate. 

Shoe: I get that the boy is supposed to gifted with intelligence, but again; he could just be saying to dad “These fingers have been up my nose AND my butt!” because he is four months old.  

Benji: Seals can do basic math, and they’re pretty dumb. Surely a 4-month-old baby can do the same thing. 

Shoe: Seals have different cranial development, Young Ben my Ji. People brains are…I dunno, the point is this story is stupid. 

Bats: Moreover, I don’t think four-month-old (or… whatever the equivalent in seal years would be) seals do basic math. It takes a certain amount of time to have a sense of situational awareness and logic. For example, some badfic characters go their entire lives without developing object permanence.

A shocked look crossed my face as I exchanged glances with my husband. “Oh my….Did you see that honey?” 

Ls:

“He added one plus two and answered three!” My eyes seemed to glow as I looked at Link. 

Shoe: “But I keep getting the letter J!”

Bats: Oh, great, now the Sue is a robot too.

Bats: … Honestly I’m surprised we’ve never seen a robo-Sue before (not a robot sidekick to a regular Sue, mind, those are almost obligatory in Mass Effect badfics, but the actual main Sue being a robot). Or… the Library might’ve had one in one of the Portal fics? I can’t remember.

Ls: Given how many fics there were at the Library, I’m sure there was a Robo-Sue or two.

The same shock showed on his face. “He is going to grow up to be one smart kid, Link my love.” “So far we’ve done a good job with him.” I watched as a smile crossed Link’s face. “Yes we have my darling, I know he will be the smartest kid in Hyrule” Link responded.

Yuki: This is reminding me of Twilight and its creepily fast-growing Sue infant.

Shoe: Oh, lord. Does this mean this little fucker is a creepy CGI baby abomination, too?

He then leaned over and kissed me. “I love you my wife.” I watched as our son pointed to the pictures in the book before I cuddled into Link’s arms. We sat for awhile before I went to put our son to bed. “It’s time for bed sweetie.” I said as Link leaned over and kissed our son on the head before I took him upstairs. Right before I ascended the stairs, I took little Link’s hand and gently waved it at his father. “Say good night to daddy.” Then he giggled as I walked up the stairs.

Benji: Waving at 4-months-old? Press X to doubt. 

Delta: *slams X hard enough to break it*

Bats: I think the Sue is moving his arm around.

After I put him in his cradle and waited for him to go to sleep, I went back down stairs and spent the rest of the night with Link by the fire. “He is a sleep.” 

Ls: You… you turned your child into a nap? 

Delta: Man, that must be some seriously advanced transformation magic.

Yuki: Continuing on the Sleeping Beauty theme from the last chapter…

Bats: She was going to say “sleeper agent” but the kid killed her before she could warn Link.

*BZZZZT!*

I said as I snuggled into Link’s arms. I laid there, against Link’s chest watching the crackling of the fire. While he massaged my body I let my thoughts drift. Link massaged me it felt soo good. His hands moved across my body as if they were gliding. His grip was firm but good against my sore muscles. I had spent that entire day cleaning.

Bats: It’s so weird how LQ keeps putting her self-insert into these very domestic, stereotypically feminine chores; from a male author or even from a woman in a different context I might be complaining about sexism a lot more often, but apparently this is supposed to be some kind of wish fulfillment?

Shoe: Why the hell are YOU the only one cleaning? Marriage is a partnership, lady. Tell your lazy-ass husband to get with the fucking program and grab a damned mop!

Ls: I’m just bored.

So I welcomed the gentle grip of his big broad hands.

My thoughts drifted away and the void opened up around me. Then I begun to hear Link’s voice inside my mind, his thoughts, his passions. The connection between us became full. I let my thoughts drift into his mind. Told him how I felt, told him how much I loved him. As the sound of the fire crackling ringed through my ears, Link filled into my soul.

Ls: Gaaaaah.

Shoe: You drank each other’s piss for a bunch of hippie pervert monks. This is a thing you did. Let us remember this and never forget it because it has been burned into our memories and it makes any romance you vapid turnips feel for one another tainted.

We began to feel each other, feel each other inside. I rolled over and looked into Link’s deep blue eyes, and I saw the desire burning in them. For a moment, his eyes seemed to glow against the red glow of the fire, and I was mesmerized by them. Then I leaned forward, pressed my lips against his and kissed him deeply. As we kissed I got lost in time, lost in his kiss, and my body got lost to his touch.

Bats: Yes, would you mind getting lost?

Ls: 

AND THEY GET IT ON AGAIN. ANOTHER PRETTY PERFUNCTORY ONE; HONESTLY I’M NOT GONNA BOTHER EVEN CENSORING THIS.

I felt the hot desire growing between us, our passions growing stronger. Then I let myself get taken away, as I slowly laid down and opened myself to him. I eagerly started to remove his clothes so his awaiting manhood would be restricted no more.

Benji: That’s an interesting way to say you’re having sex. 

Ls: I wouldn’t say “interesting”.

Shoe: You know…Sex isn’t exactly “Quiet.” At least, not the way these two horny bunnies do it. And there is a sleeping infant in the house. So you probably woke up Link Junior while you were servicing…uh…the OTHER “Link Junior.” So you’re going to be hearing crying while you’re having sex with your elfy husbando and for once, it probably won’t be coming from him. 

 First his belt, his tunic, then I undid the lace that held his white undergarment together and pulled it off exposing his heavenly naked body. Then I threw my arms around him and pulled him down on top of me. I whispered in his ear that I wanted him to take me. That I wanted him to fill me up with his love.

I listened to the crackling of the fire as Link caressed my naked body with his hands and lips.

Benji: Too much caressing! 

Kevin Spacey says he was ‘too handsy’ in the past (bbc.com)

We both let ourselves get lost in time, lost to each other’s touch. Only the sound of our two hearts beating together was heard. As we moved against each other the red glow of the fire reflected against our skin. Its warmth gave us comfort as we made love.

Ls: Well, I’m bored of this.

EVEN LQ IS GETTING BORED OF THIS.

Long into the night we fulfilled each other’s desires, each other’s fantasies. I let myself slip into time, and get taken away on the wings of love. 

Ls: That’s some purple prose.

Delta: Prose so purple, it could join the Third Street Saints.

The love that came to me from the heavens. When I was with Link I was in heaven.

Ls: 

The winter snow became worse a few days later. One day we had a snowstorm so we had to stay inside by the fire to keep warm. This was the worst winter Hyrule had seen in twenty years. I worried that the cold would get to our son. 

Ls: As it does???

Shoe: …Are you forcing the baby out there in the winter snow?

Bats: It builds character.

Delta: Ah, I see she’s been taking parenting lessons from Calvin’s Dad.

Ls: I do love exposing your children. 10/10, best form of infanticide.

I did not want him to get sick, so for the next few days Link and I slept by the fire with our son to keep him warm. 

Ls: 

I hoped it would all end quickly since our anniversary was only a week away. 

Benji: Wait! You married in the middle of winter? Most weddings I’ve been to have been in the summer (especially since your wedding was a national event and everyone was expected to turn up – King ‘Zelda’ demanding all his kingdom to attend a wedding in the middle of winter would certainly cause an uprising or something). GRRRHHH!!!! Why am I taking this fic so seriously?

Bats: The king has ordered his people to drop what they were doing and cross the country in the middle of winter to visit what isn’t even a royal wedding, named a random traveling merchant his heir over his own daughter, declared a mysterious war without explanation only to call his troops back after five months, publicly insulted most of his troops by letting Link’s wife and only Link’s wife join him for his medal ceremony, and all of this is after trusting Ganondorf. I… don’t think the king is all there anymore, if he ever was. Jenna (and by extension possibly Link) is clearly exploiting his disturbance to mooch off the royal treasury and fund her fairytale farmhouse sex playground, and apparently if the king dies the throne goes to her. I’m not saying Zelda’s planning a coup at this point, just that if she were, she’d have to be very careful about it.

Ls: I’m on Team Zelda!

I wanted to get him something special, but if the snow did not stop soon I would not be able to get to the Market to get him a gift. Last fall after we got married the winter was a calm and mild one. There was hardly any snow and a mild cold. The autumn last year was even warm.

Benji: Jenna, that’s called global warming. 

Ls: No one cares about the weather!

But for some reason this year the snows came early and heavy. I even got concerned about the Zora and Goron races since each was not very adaptable to the extreme cold.

Shoe: I think they’ve handled extreme cold before, so they’ve probably have some method in place for their survival. Call it a hunch.

 Link and I worried that those races would have survival problems. 

Ls: 

Since the Zoras were an aquatic people, the water where they live remains warm. And if their water gets too cold, they might freeze to death. 

Ls: But… it remains warm! Why would it get cold?

The Gorons live high up on Death Mountain, but they need warm climates to live in. 

Ls: It’s also called Death Mountain.

If the cold gets too extreme, they might not survive. 

Ls: This is the weirdest plot ever.

We especially worried about Princess Ruto. She was the kind to go out, and spend the day finding ways to improve Hyrule’s water source or Zora’s Domain itself. Usually being cooped up was not her style, and she seems to get wiry if she remains in one place for to long. 

Ls: She gets wiry?

We though she might try to go outside to get away from being cooped up all day long. She never listens to her father, always sneaking around. So we thought she might try and sneak out, and that could be bad news.

Benji: Wow! The Sue is concerned about the well-being of others. 

With that in mind, we decided that we should keep an eye out on her. One day in particular, it got extremely cold. It was the coldest Hyrule had gotten in twenty years. 

Ls: That doesn’t even sound particularly bad; it’s not like this is a full-on ice age.

Link and I were sitting in front of the fire with our son.

Yuki: At which point I’m fed up and kick them into the fireplace all Hansel and Gretel like.

*BZZZZT*

We had wrapped ourselves with heavy wool blankets and huddled together to stay warm. The house had gotten cold, so cold that even Lilly, Navi and Aria had to go to the little huts that we built upstairs for them to sleep in, so their wings would not get numb, preventing them from flying. While Link and I were huddled together under the blankets, a knock came at the door.

Since it was snowing and the cold was so intense, we thought that someone would be crazy to venture outside in that terrible weather.

Yuki: Newsflash, privileged poophead, not everyone can afford to stay inside in harsh weather! Many people have jobs and other things that require them to go outside! Unlike you with your perpetually cozy fireplace, some people might have run out of wood to keep their fires going and must go out to chop some more.

Link and I exchanged worried glances. “Who could that be out in this awful weather?” I said as I gave Link a worried look.

Benji: Hagrid waiting to deliver Junior’s letter to Hogwarts? 

“I’ll go see who it is.” Link said as he got up dragging the heavy blanket behind him. I got up, wrapped my blanket around me, wrapped one around our son, then followed Link to the door. Undoing the latches, Link slowly opened the door. What we saw on the other side shocked us. There in the doorway stood the figure of a female Zora. Princess Ruto, wrapped in a heavy deep blue cloak, stood there ankle deep in the snow half frozen. “Oh my god, what are you doing out in this ungodly weather?!” I said with pure shock in my voice. Dazed, she looked at us then staggered to the door. Link reached out and grabbed Ruto by the arm and pulled her inside. Removing the cloak, I led Ruto to sit by the fire. With haste I grabbed a heavy wool blanket and wrapped it around the half frozen Zora.

Then I went into the kitchen and made a cup of hot coco to give to her.

Benji: I think she needs more than a cup of hot coco.

Ls: Jenna’s coco for Cocoa Puffs, I’d say 

Yuki: Jenna needs a cup of hot cocó, in the Portuguese sense.

Bats: Not to be confused with a cup of hot cucco.

After I handed her the cup, Link and I looked at her with unblinking eyes, “So tell me again why you were out in that awful storm.” I said with doubt in my voice. The adult Zora looked from me to Link, then answered in a muffled tone. “I was out examining ways to improve water flow from Lake Hylia, when the storm broke catching me in it.” Reading over her statement again in my mind, it didn’t make much sense.

Ls: Right, because that’s the one thing that doesn’t make sense here.

Yuki: Jenna-Sue’s pee-bond magic allows her to read other people’s minds now?

There had to be more to the story then what she was telling us. I looked at her squarely, as she looked down into her cup. “C’mon Ruto, there has to be a real reason why you were out there.” “I just find it hard to believe that you were actually out there to check on the water source. ” “Tell me the real reason. ” Ruto looked back up at me, then her face faltered.

“Well…..I…..ummm….I can’t really say why. ” Link and I exchanged looks then we looked back to Ruto. “Ruto you cannot really expect us to believe that you cannot explain why  you were really out there.” 

Ls: Well this is the most boring thing ever.

A glint of anger appeared in Link’s jeweled eyes

Yuki: Ouch. Eye gore.

Bats: sApPhIrE oRbS

as he spoke.  When she saw that Link was getting impatient, she finally decided to tell us the real reason why she was out in the storm.  “Well…..I was in Zora’s Domain and I was starting to feel cooped up so I decided to go to lake Hylia for a swim.” 

Benji: In the middle of winter? Her original story made more sense. 

“As I came near the Water Temple, I decided to check inside to make sure everything was ok.” “As I wandered the corridors, I saw what seemed like a shadow that moved. ” “I walked further down the corridor I was in, until something knocked me down. ” “When I turned and looked up, I saw a shadowy figure looming over me that looked remarkably like Link.” “Its red eyes, pierced me like daggers, and as I looked at the figure, I could tell it was evil.” 

Ls: How did Linktron 5000 get back here so quickly after using its dart eyes on her?

Bats: Oh, that’s Linktron 5001. You know how it is, software updates, longer battery life, poison darts built into the eyes…

“I barely got out alive.” “That thing….almost had me.” “When I got outside, the storm broke.” “Being a Zora, I knew I wasn’t going to last long out in the cold, and Zora’s Domain was too far away, so that’s why I came here.” Ruto said in a scratchy voice, her hand shaking the cup she held.

Bats: So… why didn’t you lead with this? Also, is this house (in the… Kokiri forest, yes…?) closer to Lake Hylia than Zora’s Domain is? I don’t remember the game’s map too well, but I’m pretty sure that’s wrong.

Ls: Yeah, why lie in the first place?

I looked at her with unblinking eyes and all I could think about was what Ruto had said.

“A shadowy figure that looked like Link?” I thought to myself. I glanced over at Link, who looked white as a sheet. “Link my love whats wrong?!” Link turned to face me, his voice raspy from shock. “Oh my Goddesses…..I thought he was dead!” “How can he still be alive!” “I destroyed him myself!” “Who Link……what are you talking about?!” 

Ls: Who is talking here?!?

I watched as Link’s eyes lowered. “When I was in the Water Temple, about halfway through it, I entered this strange room.” “The room was strange, like it was straight out of a bad dream.” “As I continued to explore the room, I felt a strange presence.”

*Alarms blare*

*Strangely, strange strangers from the DRD estrange themselves from this strange strangeness*

*Bats shoots at them with the door launcher*

“As I walked towards the lone tree in the center of the room, a shadowy figure turned from behind it.” “When I got close enough, I could tell that the figure looked like…….me.” Link’s eyes faltered as he remembered that day when he met his mirror self. “Oh Goddesses, you’re kidding right?” I said with pure shock in my voice. “No, he’s telling the truth.” Ruto added. “I saw it with my own eyes when I was in there last.” I could not believe what I was hearing. All I could think about was that there was another that looked like Link.

Bats: Don’t get any funny ideas, Jenna; remember the stalker monks.

Was this other, evil, was he good, or was he Link’s twin that he does not know about? 

Ls: Maybe he’ll kill Jenna for us!

These questions raced threw my mind as the thought of this mirror image with the face of my husband was possibly running around.

*Jenna’s mind is thrown at the riffers*

Bats: Did… something just happen? The fic stopped, but nothing seemed to change.

Ls: I think I see a thought of a mirror image running around, but that’s it.

“Link my love tell me what happened.” I looked directly into Link’s eternal blue eyes as a look of pure depression shone in his face.

Benji: Talk about purple prose. 

Ls: [depression]

Shoe: [Mild hunger and general irritation]

 “When I tried to fight the mirror image, I could not land a mark on him.” “It seemed that he was anticipating my every move.” “It was a long and grueling fight, one I almost did not win.” “Oh my Goddesses…Link you never told me about that!”

Bats: Probably because it’s not actually all that relevant, just kind of a quick gimmick fight that people have blown out of proportion.

Ls: Why would any of this have come up before?

Bats: For the record, given how trippy the whole area is, it comes across more like a Dagobah-cave-style mental battle than an actual evil twin just randomly being in the Water Temple for no good reason. If Ruto got that deep in there, she should’ve seen a dark Ruto, not run into Dark Link, but… well, we’ll see how the author writes this.

Shoe: I dunno, I like to think that the Water Temple was fucking with the mute elf man with the floppy green hat. “This is you. This is how stupid you look.”

I walked over and embraced the now shivering Link. “It was terrible, I will never forget those blood red eyes.” “And now with possibility that he is still running around, makes me even more nervous.” I could tell now that Link was upset. Even with all the stories that Link had told me, he never told me about his encounter inside the Water Temple. “I must go to the Water Temple and check it out.” “If I don’t, I will never be able to rest.” Link said as he got up and buckled on the Master Sword over his back.

Then he put on his deep green cloak as he prepared to venture outside. “Link my love you cannot venture out in that dangerous storm.” I said as I grabbed his arm. “Jenna my dear wife, I must go.” “If that mirror image of me is still on the loose, that could mean serious trouble.”

Benji: For once, Jenna is right. Can’t you leave the whole adventuring thing till tomorrow? 

Ls: How about you all go outside and freeze to death?

Link’s jeweled blue eyes pierced me deep into my soul. As I stared into them, I begun to understand that he had to go find out if the evil in the shape of his image was still inside the Water Temple. 

Ls: Staring at his eyes somehow cleared this up for you?

I wondered how Gannondorf could create such an atrocity. “Well I understand that you must go to the Temple and see if it is true that this copy is wandering its corridors, but you are not going without me.” I said as I grabbed my deep blue cloak and put it on, lifting the hood over my head. “Jenna my love, you cannot come.” “Its too dangerous and some one needs to stay here and care for our son.” 

Ls: Just have Dr. Zaon come in for a fun playdate! Wait, or you could let Ruto take care of him. Isn’t she still around here somewhere?

Link said as he lifted my head up until our eyes met. Pushing his hand away a hint of irritation appeared in my voice.

“First off, I cannot just let you venture out in that storm alone, second Ruto as well as Lilly and Navi are here so they can care for our son while we’re away.” 

Ls: …I hate it when the fic makes points that I just did.

“Ruto is still not able to go back to Zora’s Domain yet so she should stay here anyway.”

Benji: Ruto is also freezing to death, so I don’t think she’ll be any help looking after Junior. 

 I said as I headed towards the door. Link grabbed my arm and pulled me back. “Jenna my love, you do not understand.” “I don’t want to loose you, the Temple is dangerous and so is my mirror self.”

Ls: I agree, keep Jenna locked up!

Link looked at me with concern in his eyes. And all I could think about was that I didn’t want to loose him either. “I’m still going, I don’t want to loose either.”

*Alarms blare*

*A loose-knit group of DRD agents is on the loose, loosely loosed into the riffing chamber*

“I love you, and I want to protect you.” “Who knows what this mirror self might be planning.” I said as I threw my arms around Link. “Sigh” 

Ls: You just said sigh?

“That is one of the reasons why I married you my dear Jenna.” Link said as he pressed his lips on mine.

Bats: Goodness, could we be on the path to a plot? Find out in the next riff.

Ls: I doubt it. It’s not a good plot, at least.