0316: Godzilla vs Bagan: Earth’s Savior – Part 1

Title: Godzilla vs. Bagan: Earth’s Savior

Author: Bio-Major Agent85

Topic: Godzilla

Media: Film

Genre: Adventure

URL: Godzilla vs. Bagan: Earth’s Savior 

Critiqued by: Em Kay, David the Czech Exchange Student

Greetings and salutations, Wardens and lunatics.  I’m Em Kay and with me today I have David, an exchange student visiting from the Czech Republic. Those familiar with my Library work may remember him, but for those unfamiliar, David speaks several languages fluently and is with me to work on his English spelling. Say hello, David.

David: Halo.

Wonderful.

Now, since I recently got pissed off at saw the Godzilla x Kong movie, I had the urge to riff some fics from my favorite franchise. 

Minions!

*A large bin of fics has suddenly always been on Em’s desk. Em eagerly starts sorting through it.*

Let’s see… She-Ra and the Monster Kid of Etheria? Nah. Not in the mood for a crossover.

*shuffle, shuffle*

Hmm, My Monster Family? Nuh uh. If there’s one thing that movie had way too much of, it was freaking “family.”

*shuffle, shuffle*

Here we go. Godzilla vs. Bagan: Earth’s Savior. That sounds like some of the kaiju on kaiju action I’m looking for.

…

That sounded better in my head.

David: Defiantly.

0312: Harry, Hermoine, and Ron’s fifth year at Hogwarts!

Title: Harry, Hermoine, and Ron’s fifth year at Hogwarts!

Author: HermoineAndraiaWeasley

Topic: Harry Potter

Media: Literature

Genre: None given

URL: Harry, Hermoine, and Ron’s fifth year at Hogwarts!

Critiqued by: Em Kay

Greetings and salutations, Wardens and lunatics. I’m Em Kay and this is not Rose in Spira. To celebrate that fact, we’re going to riff some pure, unadulterated nonsense. That’s right, it’s yet another HermioneAndraiaWeasley fic.

*Em blows a party horn*

Let’s get right to the summary, shall we?

Please Read I and not a very good story teller but if you read it and give it reviwes I’ll make the next one!

All the insanity we’ve come to expect from this author.

I’ll just open up the fic itself and we can get- 

Harry and his friends fifth year

at Hogwarts!!!!

*Em is blasted out of her chair and inexplicably tossed to the right by the gigantic font size and odd formatting of the fic.*

HOLY HAND GRENADE OF ANTIOCH!

*Em slowly climbs back into her chair.*

So, WordPress spares the readers the worst of the formatting… peculiarities, but just take my word for it that it’s bad.

0287: April Fools’ Day Oneshot-palooza

Title: April Fools Day – Harry Potter

Author: Lizzee 

Topic: Harry Potter

Media: Literature, Film

Genre: Humor

URL: April Fools Day – Harry Potter

Critiqued by: Em Kay

Greetings and salutations, Wardens and lunatics. Yes, I know that technically yesterday was April Fools Day but, due to Timezone Shenanigans^TM, it’s also technically still April Fools Day for me at the time this posts. So, why not have a little fun with it?

*Em pulls a laptop out of the drawer that is covered with various holiday themed stickers.*

I scoured the internet for minutes upon minutes to find the very best oneshots to place before you, esteemed reader.

Then I got bored and decided to do these instead. Still, it should be fun, right?

*A cooler of emotional support beverages has suddenly always been next to Em’s desk.*

Heh, I’m sure the minions are just joking around. Good one, guys! *Em chuckles in a way that absolutely is not nervous.* Such pranksters.

0262: Valentines challange (oneshot)

Title: Valentines challange

Author: Sirianna123

Media: TV Show

Topic: Gravity Falls

Genre: Romance

Hi, hello, and welcome back to the Asylum. I’m Linstar, and today I have a (relatively) short romance-themed fic set in the Gravity Falls canon, which I’ve covered previously. This particular fic is, I suspect, written by a non-native English speaker. While I don’t want to insult the author for that, it does make this particular fic rather…. incomprehensible. Be prepared.

Chapter 1: Love Letters

Valentines Week!

A typo already (aside from the title). Lovely.

0246: 16 year old superheroes + two: Chapters One and Two – Ls and Bats coriff

Title: 16 year old superheroes + two

Author: stanleyMay

Topic: Batman, Super Sons, Gravity Falls, Danny Phantom, Miraculous Ladybug

Media: Comics/TV Show

Genre: N/A, this is AO3

Critiqued by: Linstar and Batjamags

Ls: Welcome back, you poor unfortunate souls, to the Asylum. I’m Linstar, and with me today is Batjamags!

Bats: Welcome!

Ls: Today we’ll be covering a fic that features characters from Miraculous Ladybug, Gravity Falls, Danny Phantom, Super Sons, and Batman in general. I am familiar with the first two fandoms, and Bats… is Bats, so hopefully we should be familiar with most of the characters.

*Bats pumps a shotgun*

Bats: I’m familiar with one or two of them, yes.

Ls: Just one quick piece of background information: this particular fic is a chatfic, which means it’s just characters texting. In this case, it’s in some weird megacrossover group chat.

Ls: Yeeeeah.

Bats: Let’s look at the summary, uh, not that it’s… helpful.

Summary:

Insect:[Picture of destroyed Paris]

Ls: I hate it.

Bats: And here I was told that we’d always have Paris.

Insect: don’t worry darling I’ll choke you later

Ls: Aaaaaagh what?

Bats: Going off the deep end quickly, I see.

0232: Fear Effect – Chapter 3, Part 2

Title: Fear Effect
Author: SnakeValerianSmash
Media: Video game
Topic: Mass Effect / surprise kitchen sink sci-fi crossover
Genre: Sci-Fi / Horror
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by BatJamags

Hello once again, wardens and lunatics! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with what ought to be the last of this fic. At least, it’s the last as I write this riff. Because it’s so new, there is a decent chance there’ll be more by the time this goes up on December 21, but I will probably have started working on something else by then, so I’m just as happy to count myself done and find something less repetitive to work on. The bingo board sits at a prodigious eighteen squares and two bingos:

Last time, that boring squad of boring OCs killed, just, so many aliens. Then they were sent to another place to kill more aliens, but they got distracted taking a shortcut through a building that couldn’t possibly be shorter than just going along the ground, which led them into conflict with more aliens, which they killed several of. We left off at a dramatic pause because it was the most convenient stopping point near the middle of the chapter, but don’t expect much; the author will…

…

…put dramatic pauses pretty much any damn place.

What had to happen happened.

The fic ended? Please?

The unknown doing its deeds once again against us.

Oh no! Not… deeds!

0223: Fear Effect – Chapter 3, Part 1

Title: Fear Effect
Author: SnakeValerianSmash
Media: Video game
Topic: Mass Effect / surprise kitchen sink sci-fi crossover
Genre: Sci-Fi / Horror
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by BatJamags

Hello once again, wardens and lunatics! I am not your guest host, BatJamags, but rather your recently promoted host-host, which means I can’t make the others format my stuff for me, but I do get an actual office instead of a spare cell with an overturned cardboard box for a desk. So, you know, tradeoffs. I’m going to head over there now.

Anyway, this fic snuck in another chapter after I found it, so I’m not as done with it as I was banking on being by now. Which fic?

FEAR EFFECT

That one. Let’s check the bingo board.

We pick up where we left off…

0205: Demon Who Lived – Chapter 2

Title: Demon Who Lived

Author: Blades of Silver

Topic: Harry Potter/Inuyasha

Media:Anime, Literature, Film

Genre: Supernatural/Adventure

URL: Chapter 2

Critiqued by: Em Kay and Conan the Snakebarian

Greetings and salutations, Wardens and lunatics. I’m Em Kay, and you all know Co-

*The Teapot of Snake is not in its customary spot.*

Conan?

*At the back of Em’s office, Conan emerges from the Linebreak Lean-to with a feather duster clutched in his tail.*

Oh. Doing a bit of spring- er, fall cleaning?

Conan: Sss. Ssss ss ssss.

*Conan heads back into the Lean-to and a small plume of dust drifts out in his wake.*

*Em coughs lightly* Okay. Well, have fun, I guess?

Anyway, today we’re heading back into this Harry Potter/Inuyasha crossover.

Last time, Professor Snape had a class of fifteen-year-olds make “Time-Potions” despite being fully aware that it was dangerous, unstable, and highly restricted magic. After some incredibly predictable shenanigans, Harry was teleported across the planet and back in time to Feudal Era Japan. He was immediately found by Kagome and company and, after an off-hand comment about Inuyasha supposedly having a dead older brother, decided to completely take on this new identity, because he’s Ky’n of Gullible.

0186: Lady Wifi (Oneshot)

Title: Lady Wifi

Author: IrrelevantIndividual

Topic: Miraculous Ladybug

Media: TV

Genre: N/A, It’s AO3

URL: Lady Wifi – IrrelevantIndividual – Miraculous Ladybug [Archive of Our Own]

*young man walks into the room, dressed in a bulky pumpkin costume*

Heeello Lunatics and Wardens, and welcome to the Asylum! Since it’ll be Halloween in a few days, I thought I’d break up The Time Traveling Girl with a short seasonal oneshot. It’s in the Miraculous Ladybug universe, which I’ve already done, so I think we can skip the introduction, or failed attempt thereof. Be warned; the fic is 11,000 words, so despite some heavy-handed snippage for reasons you shall see, this one is gonna be long.

*Ls awkwardly maneuvers to sit in his chair*

Let’s begin.

This follows the episode of Lady Wifi with needed twists 

So I guess we’re rewriting an actual episode of the show. Here is a review of that episode, in case you want an idea of the plot.

and the addition of Halloween because I was itching for a theme, even if it’s July when I post this.

Well, it’s October now. Or at least it will be, by the time this is live.

“Time really flies fast when you’re saving the day!” Tikki says as they nibble on a cookie. 

Tikki’s sharing a cookie with someone else? Why?

Why would she do that?

0180: The Time Traveling Sue Chapters Seven-Twelve

Title: The Time Traveling Girl

Author: chichi123

Topic: The Croods

Media: Film

Genre: Family/Romance

URL: Fanfic: The Time Traveling Girl Ch 1, Croods | FanFiction

Attention all Wardens and Lunatics! The Golden Straightjacket nominations are done, and voting will be open to the public from Oct. 20th to 27th.

Heeeello, and welcome back to the Asylum, and to The Time Traveling Girl. Last week, we met the very Suvian “Chi-Chi” (AKA Mushu) and her totally-three-year-old little sister as they randomly traveled backwards in time (somehow), and made the Crood family of cavemen more OOC than a cheerful Dementor. (Yes, I found a fic with that, if you’re wondering.)

Now on to the fic!

Hi! I’m back again! Thank you to DJpaigeDJ for giving me an idea. Also thank you everyone for reading, following, favoriting and reviewing! I love you guys so much so here are some cookies! Thank you!

No! Giving out redemption cookies is our thing! 

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