0230: Doctor Daddy – Chapters 1-3

Title: Doctor Daddy
Author: The Mighty Ghost
Medium:  TV Series
Topic: Doctor Who
Genre: Adventure/Family
Critiqued by: Mister Shoebox

Because the chapters are short, I’mma be riffing three at a time. Yon Tres Chapters, as it were. A triple dose of Doctor-Daughter-DumbA$$ery. 

Chapter One- Help Wanted

Even in the Darkest days of Planet Earth, we always had hope. The Doctor. He would arrive in his blue box like a Guardian Angel and save us from death.

Shoe: And lo, there was…a CLICHE OPENING!

We need the Doctor. The world needs him. I need him.

You must think we’re silly, handing over our fates to the travelling Time Lord, but he’s the only one who can save us!

Shoe: Except for Sarah Jane, Torchwood, K-9, UNIT…

Also, he’s my dad.

I was born in the year 1996, to a beautiful (now deceased) human called Angelica. Wren. My dad, at that time, was in his eighth form. They decided to call me Robin…Robin Andromeda Wren…

Shoe: Your name is RAW? Huh. What a coincidence, so is my hatred of YOU, ya little snot-nosed punk!

Mother died when I was five, but dad took me to live at my aunt’s. My dad left, to fight in the Time War, and I didn’t see him until 2005, when I was nine.

Shoe: If you were born in 1996, then that would have been the Eighth Doctor. And while I don’t doubt he was very attractive (Seriously, Paul McGann was man-pretty back in the day) I think he was more focused on being in a bad TV movie than any romance. 

He was in his ninth form, and with Rose Tyler, a 19 year old girl from London. I didn’t really care for her, but I knew dad cared for her. We travelled to Ancient Rome together, but things took a turn for the worst when I signed Rose up to be a gladiator.

Hey, I thought it was funny at the time!

Shoe: Oh how plucky and charming you aren’t. And how the hell did a nine year old sign up ANYONE for gladiatorial combat?

Dad didn’t feel the same, so he took me home. He did, however, leave me a little gift, in the form of coral from the TARDIS.

“You’ll be able to grow your own TARDIS at an accelerated rate.” He left then.

Shoe: You aren’t his only kid. He’s had other children. He had a GRAND-DAUGHTER in the first series and, as far as I know, he never gave Susan her own TARDIS. So this is out of character for him. Your existence makes HIM out of character and it makes me sad. And angry. Sangry, if you will.  

I grew my own TARDIS in my aunt’s garden, which was a bit of a stupid idea, because my aunt noticed it, and tried to destroy the foreign body. It’s hidden right now in my wardrobe, growing and growing.

Shoe: How big is your wardrobe?! Tardises aren’t necessarily big, at least on the outside, but even at their smallest you can’t fit one in your CLOSET. A TARDIS can look like a wardrobe, but fit in your standard bit of furniture? NO SIR. You fail.

It was 2008, and I was 12, and about to start secondary. On that fateful day the cybermen (who were the ghosts) tried to kill me. Nice. Dad, in his tenth form, came in his own TARDIS, saved the world, but lost Rose.

Shoe: Okay. Information time: The Cybermen from Pete’s World are Cybermen from another universe who think they’re doing everyone a favor by shoving their brains into uniform, emotionless robotic shells. They came to our Earth and ‘upgraded’ a LOT of people before they got into a slapfight with the Daleks, of all things. Their introductions weren’t the best episodes, but they were acceptable. Anyway.  Why would the Cybermen  care about you? 

Oh well.

Later, after he had dealt with another matter, he came to see me at my aunt’s house. He looked like a lost puppy, and cried a little when I showed him my picture of Rose trying to fend off a gladiator.

Shoe: Yes, please remind him why you are terrible. 

“How’s the TARDIS growing?” he asked me.

“It’s getting fairly big now…I had to hide it in my big wardrobe, because Aunt Shelby thought it was some rare disease on one of her plants.”

Shoe: See my previous point about TARDIS size. And see me after class, Sue. Actually, don’t. 

He laughed, and left soon afterwards. I only saw him once after that, when he was about to die (well, regenerate).

He was shaking and sweating, and I knew he was about to change. The year was 2009, and I had just come back from a New Year’s Eve party. Also, I was a bit tipsy from some alcohol I stole.

Shoe: Maybe he was shaking with regret at not using a condom, sweetie. When he was shagging your mum. Because that gave us YOU. 

I pushed him back into his TARDIS, to regenerate in the safety of his beloved blue box. I shed a tear as I waved goodbye.

It’s currently 2011, and the world needs the Doctor again. The evil mastermind Davros has survived death again, and this time, he’s out for revenge.

And that revenge just happens to involve me.

Sorry it’s a bit long; this is sort of an introduction to the character.

Shoe: Ahhh, c’mon. You don’t have to apologize…not YET, anyway. You have seventeen more chapters to apologize for. 

Chapter Two- A Brand New Box

I scrub my face roughly with the flannel, trying to remove the face paint. My school’s been doing a production of The Rocky Horror Show and I was Magenta. Needless to say, I think I rocked that role.

Shoe: Yeah, say that all you want but WE know you are a no-good-kid. …Dammit, now that song will never leave my head.

I look at my smiling face in the mirror, and falter. The only imperfect thing about the show was that dad wasn’t there to watch. I know he’s still out there, because I can sense him.

Shoe: I have his reaction right here. I Don’t want to go 

“Robin! Dinner!” Aunt Shelby calls from downstairs.

“Coming! One minute!” I wash the sink around, and chuck the flannel in the dirty washing basket, before skipping down the stairs.

As I wolf down my dinner of chips, peas and fish fingers, I watch the news. My heart literally stops at the headlines.

“There was chaos today in Central London when there was an explosion, which killed all the Members of Parliament in the Houses of Parliament.”

Shoe:…Just a sec. *He heads outside the door and there’s a series of thwacking noises as our hero vents his frustration on the errant Dept. Of Redundancy Dept agents.*

“..Holy…” I drop my fork, and look at my aunt fearfully. She looks back with tears in her eyes. Either the terrorists did the deed…or something else entirely.

“Suddenly, I don’t feel so hungry, maybe I’ll go upstairs.” I put my plate to one side, and run upstairs. My heart is pounding (yes, I only have ONE heart). 

Shoe: And one brain cell. HAH! I am so mean. 

I close my door, and lean against it, my eyes shut.

I open them. There’s a faint humming sound coming from my wardrobe. The humming grows louder as I approach. Something brushes against my sub-conscious, and I squeal loudly.

Shoe: If it’s your subconscious, you shouldn’t be able to – you know, feel it. Because it’s subconscious. 

“Are you alright up there?” My aunt yells up.

“Yeah,” I reply, before biting down on my lip, and opening the wardrobe door.

Blinding white light pours out, and I fall back, my eyes clamped shut. The humming is the only sound I can hear, it’s in my head both inside and out.

Shoe:  …I’m not surprised you can hear a loud hum, dearie. That’s the nothing between your ears. 

Robin. A voice whispers, Come to me, Robin. Come to me so we can defend the Earth! 

Shoe: Mysterious voice from your closet that knows your name and tells you “Come to me so we can defend the earth?” That’s…That is…”Stranger Danger” isn’t necessarily a thing in your pea-sized brain, izzit? 

I open my eyes, and squint. The light fades away, to reveal a white rectangular box roughly the same size and shape as my dad’s TARDIS. Then it dawns on me…

“You’re my TARDIS!” I run my hands down my face in disbelief. It’s real! I have a TARDIS!

Shoe: TARDISES ARE BIG. If it looks like your dad’s, then it should be the size of an old Police box, which was about the size of a phone booth. 

Well, technically, you’re MY Time Lord! The TARDIS says in my head. I can’t stop grinning, even after the terrible events of the day.

Shoe: TARDISES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! A TARDIS can’t actually communicate verbally. It’s sentient, and capable of emotions and attachments and whatnot, but it’s not psychic. Thank you very much, now go away. 

“Well, actually, half Time-Lord, but that doesn’t matter.” I dismiss that matter, and bound over to the living machine. I brush my hands down the sides, excitement bubbling up from within.

Click and you shall see within! I click my fingers, and the doors open. I nearly faint with excitement. I take a deep breath, and enter.

Shoe: PHRASING.

I gasp. It looks strangely similar to my dad’s secondary console room (which he showed me a picture of). The walls are a wood colour, with a scanning screen on one wall, and decored with circular panels. The console itself is a browny woody colour with a small time rotor (central column) and wooden rails around certain parts of the small platform it stands on. There are four Roman looking columns in each corner, and a small door leading off into other areas of the TARDIS. I look back at the white door behind me, and smile.

Shoe *Slips out of Non-Snark mode for a few seconds*: This is addressed to the author. Why not make your own Time Control Room? I mean, this isn’t a bad description, not really, but if you’re already giving yourself your own TARDIS, why not go all out? 

I can feel the TARDIS humming still as I rush to the console, and turn on the scanner. I look at my bedroom, covered with clothes and paper, and grin.

Wanna go for a test drive? My TARDIS asks.

“Hell yeah!” I push down a lever, and we’re off!

Here’s a link to a picture of the secondary console room, which was used by the fourth doctor for a very short space of time. I based Robin’s console room on it. . Sorry about the lack of detail at the beginning, the main aim of this chapter was to get introduced to Robin’s TARDIS. The Doctor will most likely be in the next chapter, and Davros will be appearing soon!

Shoe *Back in Snark Mode*.: Yeah, there’s no link. SOrry.  Anyhoo, here’s a picture of a cute little puppy. 

Chapter Three- A Date with Davros

“Where are we going?” I yell loudly over the noise of the TARDIS. The time rotor is rising and falling, and I flick a few switches. The TARDIS lurches, and sends me flying past the wooden rails that are supposed to save me from nearly breaking my neck.

Sorry about that. My TARDIS says in my head. I rub my arms and legs, then realise that we’ve stopped.

Excitement bubbles up within me, but I’m sensible enough to look at the scanner first. My jaw drops in horror. In the very centre of the screen, glaring at us in anger is the grey skinned, blue eye in the forehead scientist and creator of the Daleks, Davros.

Shoe:  …why? Why would the TARDIS bring you here?

“What the hell is wrong with you TARDIS?” I bellow in my fright. “Do you want me to die?”

Shoe: I do. 

You idiot, the TARDIS scowls, He can’t get to you in here.

Shoe: Uh…same question? Why did you bring her HERE? 

I mentally smack myself. Duh, I AM in a TARDIS! I examine Davros in the safety of my TARDIS, looking at his head brace, his dalek chair, and his cool metallic hand. I must admit, I’ve always wanted to have a go in his chair.

“Show yourself, Doctor!” I frown at Davros as he speaks, his voice being heard by me due to some concealed speakers. Coolio! Even in my fear at being near the sadistic, crazed inventor, I’m still pretty excited about having my own TARDIS!

“Come and face me Doctor, or are you a coward?” Davros sneers and I suddenly realise what my TARDIS has done. It’s taken on the appearance on the blue police box.

Shoe: Oh, because that’s original. It’s not like TARDISes have Chameleon Circuits and the doctor’s was broken and that’s why it’s a 1960’s Police Box OH WAIT YES IT IS WHY WOULD YOUR TARDIS DO THIS

I gulp, and decide to face Davros. I don’t actually see any daleks on the scanner, but maybe they’re in the shadows? I walk over to the white doors.

Wait! I look back at the console.

“What?”

Shoe: “TARDIS: I want you to know that I hate you.” Wait, that’s the audience. 

There’s a weird humming sound coming from the console, and I rush over. I look around until I spot-

“A key!” I grab the key, and smile at the console. “Thank you!”

The TARDIS chuckles. Well, you won’t be able to get back in without one. But do remember Robin, pull to open!

I step outside of the blue doors, and they shut automatically behind me. I face Davros, my hands trembling and sweaty. He faces me with his sagging face, and I back against the door.

“Have you stolen your father’s TARDIS, Miss Wren?” Davros murmurs quietly, his voice hoarse and croaky.

Shoe: How does he know who you are?! The Doctor wouldn’t tell him that he had a daughter, idjit! And believe it or not, pre Time War Davros didn’t really care about the Doctor, he was more focused on his own evil science shenanigans. 

I tentatively shake my head, and look around the dark room. No daleks, as far as I can see.

Shoe: WHY?! He’s the creator of the Daleks, as you just exposited. He doesn’t go anywhere without a few shouty pepperpot bodyguards! 

Davros moves forwards. My breath catches in my throat, and my hand clenches tightly to the key.

“Why are you here?” he asks, stopping not a foot away. I can smell his stench, and I make a face, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“Actually,” I lick my dry lips, “I have no idea why I’m here.”

This takes Davros by surprise, because his chair moves back. I smirk slightly, feeling a bit cocky, and continue, “Well, you see, my TARDIS brought me here on my first trip, and decided to meet you. I’ve no idea why…and I’ve no idea why my TARDIS would disguise itself as my dad’s TARDIS.”

Davros moves forward again. “Your TARDIS?” He asks. I nod smugly. “Then your…the Doctor isn’t here?” I nod again. “You are all alone and defenceless?” I roll my eyes.

“Got any more questions, Davros?” I cross my arms. “Because I’m tired of your yapping.”

I turn my back on him and put the key into the lock. Before I can turn the key, something hard hits me in the back, and I black out.

Shoe: What the hell did you think was going to happen? 

Sorry about the lousiness of the chapter, people! But at least Davros is in it! Anyway, I promise better for the next chapter!

Shoe: Yeah, Spoilers, it doesn’t get any better. But alas, That is for next time. Until next time, I WILL MAKE YOU ALL SUFFER WITH ME AND I HATE YOU SO MUCH I – *Is dragged out of the room, still swearing, by very kind men in white coats who give him a cup of hot cocoa, a puppy, and a DVD of series 1 of Bluey.*