0344: This Episode of Badfic is Called

Title: This Episode of Bluey is Called Punishment and Toilet Training

Author: Lycans are Gods Gift To Furrys (for the former) and BELover for the latter

Media: TV Show

Topic: Bluey

Genre: Crappypasta (for the former), Unknown (for the latter)

URL: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/14191085/1/ and https://bluey-fanon.fandom.com/wiki/(HELP_WANTED!!!)_Bluey_Season_4_Episode_4_-_Toilet_Training

Critiqued by: mysteryleap

I have two short badfics for you today, and yes, they’re about Bluey. I know some of you might be angry that Bluey badfic exists, but don’t shoot the messenger! The first one is on FF.Net, the second is a wiki devoted to Bluey fanfic that I found incidentally during a Google search related to the show.

WARNING: The first contains a character being murdered, although it’s a Crappypasta, so it’s impossible to take seriously.

Bluey.

A wholesome kids show about an animated family of Australian Cattle dogs. I’ll admit, I didn’t care much for the show at first.

First-person writing.

Cliche count: 1

Yet soon enough I heard about all the buzz the show had got. How it’s one of the best kids shows out there. From being a surprising visual masterpiece, the comedy.

Did the author skip a word, or are they saying the comedy is a “surprising visual masterpiece”?

Or perhaps the biggest reason, the fact Bluey’s parents are arguably the best parents ever presented in a children’s show. That they’re so willing to get involved with their kids games and nourish their imaginations.

Unlike this story, which doesn’t have a very well-nourished imagination at all.

That was, until I found the episode. “Punishment.”

It all happened about a week ago. It was around eleven at night,

Takes place at nighttime.

Cliche count: 2

and I’d just gotten home from a busy day at work. Didn’t feel like ending the day on a sour note of listening to idiotic karen customers, or needing to mop up some kids vomit in the restroom.

Protagonist is an “ordinary Joe” working in a job they hate.

Cliche count: 3

I figured a quick 7 minute episode of Bluey and her family would be just the thing to make me forget about the horrid reality day to day life is. So I sat on the sofa, turned on Disney+, and selected Bluey.

I never did care about the episode descriptions, just the titles. I wish I read what “Punishment” episode was about. I knew some episodes of Bluey were banned on Disney+, or certain scenes were censored. Disney keeping their squeaky clean kid friendly image and all that. Yet how’d THIS slip by? Hell, how’d it air in Australia even?

An unusually dark episode.

Cliche count: 4

The episode started off as normal, with the Heeler Family doing there little dance and saying there names.

Good writers should spell-check THEIR stories.

Though looking at the father, Bandit. He wasn’t smiling like usual. Rather, he looked sad.

Mostly normal, but with something a little off.

Cliche count: 5

At the time, I just figured this was just going to be a mature episode. I mean Bluey did tackle harder subject VS your average kids show. Premature births, not being able to have kids, even death.

You think Bluey is the first kids’ show to tackle death? Arthur‘s done it, Sesame Street‘s done it, even Caillou‘s done it.

And Bluey had managed to handle all of them handled in such good ways.

Anyway, after the intro. The episodes started off at the Heel house

Where the wrestling villains live?

Bandit is working at his computer and drinking some coffee, when suddenly Bluey and Bingo come into the room. Bingo dressed as a princess, and Bluey in a dragon costume

Bingo asks her father to be a brave knight and protect her from the dragon.

Though instead of playing along with his daughters escapades, Bandit simply stated that he was very busy and didn’t have time to play.

This may seem like a standard kids’ show scene, but the Crappypasta darkness is coming soon.

Bluey and Bingo don’t give up trying and Bluey lets out a dragon roar, frightening Bingo and causing her to bump into her dad

This in turn led to their father bumping into the coffee cup and spilling its contents onto the computer. It sparks and smokes a bit before being completely broken

Bluey and Bingo left out a simultaneous “Oops,” as they realize what they did

Oops indeed! That’s why my own dad told me to never drink in front of a computer.

Then the episode title came up, along with Bandit’s voice yelling what the episode title was. No lie, I jumped a bit at that.

Though I would soon learn things were about to get much worse.

Bluey and Bingo continue to have guilty looks plastered over their faces, while Bandit is cleaning up the computer and trying to get it working again. Yet to no avail

Why not call IT then?

Bandit turns to face them, a super closeup on his face.

Dramatic close-ups.

Cliche count: 6

Like in the episode “Butterflies” when Bingo saw the ladybug

The red Bandit’s eyes showing the rage within him.

Red eyes.

Cliche count: 7

Along with him saying “You… Little… Bitches…”

Predictable joke, though I wouldn’t list that on the list of cliches, since predictable jokes aren’t really a Crappypasta thing.

Bandit then grabs his daughters and hoists them up. Yelling at them about how they just ruined and important paper he had to give to his boss. That he’ll likely get fired now. And that he feels ashamed he and Chili played along so much with their games. When all it’s done is cause pain and embarrassment for them. That his daughters made him the laughing stock of the neighborhood.

Canon character being uncharacteristically mean for shock value.

Cliche count: 8

At this point Chilli walks into the room and is shocked by what Bandit’s doing to their daughters

Yet Bandit’s still in rage, explaining how she’ll have to work full time at her airport security job now. And that their daughters will be lucky to get any presents for their birthdays

Again, why not call IT and see if they can fix the computer? They might not be able to, but it’s worth a shot, right?

Bluey and Bingo are crying now and Chili demands Bandit release them.

Chili: “Enough of that! Bandit, release them!”

Bandit: “As you wish.”

Bandit drops the children and orders them to go to there rooms

The scene then fades to Bluey and Bingo laying in their beds.

Shouldn’t that be “lying”?

The distant, inaudible sounds of Bandit and Chili arguing downstairs can be heard

The pups still weeping. It didn’t really sound like fake weeping. Like the actors behind the voices had really been crying as they recorded this

Suggesting behind-the-scenes drama.

Cliche count: 9

Bluey and Bingo start to talk about how they can make things right. Like maybe opening a lemonade stand to raise some dollar bucks or doing more chores around the house.

At this point I let my guard down. Thinking this would all indeed have a happy ending

That was until I heard the scream

A scream signifying something scary happened.

Cliche count: 10

Again, it sounded like Chili’s voice actor was indeed in some peril as they recorded it.

I jumped along with Bluey and Bingo just then. The pups hurrying downstairs, only to stop at the kitchen.

Chili laying on the floor in a pool of blood, Bandit holding a knife

Making a character stab another for no reason.

Cliche count: 11

“I- I just wanted her to stop talking girls. She… She just wouldn’t shut up. We were playing the Quiet Game, and she wasn’t playing right. You two want to play?”

Bluey says she doesn’t feel like playing games anymore, Bingo agrees

Yet Bingo keeps walking to his daughters

“Well, how about a drive then girls? We can go to Crazy Land,”

Crazy Land? Dude, you’re already there.

Bandit’s shadow looms over the pups, his knife still in hand

The credits then play, as they do. A pool of blood oozes onto the spot where a character would usually be dancing

Blood where it shouldn’t be.

Cliche count: 12

The episode ends

I just sat there dumbfounded at what I’d just seen, the next episode played and it was back to wholesome Bluey silliness. It all just didn’t makes sense? How would anyone think that was appropriate for children!?

Answer: they wouldn’t.

I tried going back, but “Punishment” was no where on the episode list anymore. I tried looking up, yet still nothing.

Was it all just glitch? Had I seen something not meant to be seen? Has anyone else seen the episode called “Punishment?”

The episode goes missing.

“How’s the cliche level now, Bingo?” “At the top!”

Cliche count: 13

Unlucky 13, anyone?

Anyway, now onto the second badfic, although to its credit, the author did ask for help writing it. They obviously never got it.

Bandit: *groaning* 99 bottles of thing on the wall. 99 bottlers a thi-

That’s actually canon. Bluey has one episode heavily implying a hangover, but it still shies away from saying the word “beer”.

Bluey: Dad, I need to do a wee.

Bingo: Me, too.

So… go? Wait, where is this story taking place? Are they at home?! At the store?! Where!?

Bandit: Ugh.

(Snoopy Hiding In A Tree): I SEE A BEEEEEEE- (gets stung) AAAAAAAAA

What’s Snoopy doing here!? I know he’s a dog, but still!

Bingo: This episode of Bluey is called, Toilets.

I thought the title was Toilet Training? You can tell it’s a badfic when even the title is inconsistent.

(Snoopy Drives In a Goofy Green Car To Bluey’s House)

Why Are You Writing Like This?

Bandit: Okay, so do you have to go now?

Bluey & Bingo: Nope.

=After a few minutes=

Bandit: All right, I want you kids to stay behaved.

After a while.

Bluey: Ooo. OOOOO!

Why’s she saying this!?

Snoopy: (facepalm)

I’m with you, Snoopy.

PA: Attention, Managers! A kid has weed on Aisle 5, near the BBQ section.

Customer: What?! A kid has a bag of Mary Jane?!
PA: No, “weed” as in the past tense of “wee”, which is slang for urination.

Also, apparently we’re at a store now.

Bandit: Bluey Christine Heeler!

Snoopy: (facepalms again)

Bluey: What?

Bingo: She just did an accident wee. Also I did wet.

They’re seven and five. Unless a kid has developmental delays, that’s a bit old for wetting one’s pants, isn’t it?

Snoopy: i usually pee on fire hydrants but i peed on a free couch

Bandit: Bingo Candice Heeler And Snoopy J. Carter Beagle! What is up with you two?

How does Bandit know Snoopy’s name!?

Bluey, Bingo and Snoopy: Sorry….

At home

Chilli: Ok girls…. and snoopy, time for bed.

Girls: Awww…

Snoopy: awwwwwwww

You don’t have to whine. You don’t live there. Just go home to your own universe!

The girls brush their teeth, and go to sleep.

The next morning, Chilli sees a wet spot on Bingo and Bluey’s Bed.

Since when do the Heeler sisters share a bed!?

Snoopy’s Bed Looked Fine

Chilli: GIRLS!

Girls: Oh-no!

(snoopy gets spooked and wakes up)

Snoopy: AH!

Chilli: This is why you should know when to go.

Well, they were asleep, weren’t they? You can’t really fault a child for bed-wetting.

Girls: Sorry Mum.

The Heelers are in the car to Muffin’s.

Girls: Muffin! Socks!

Socks: Hi!

Muffin: HI!!!!

Bingo: Woah, what’s been goin’ on with you!?

A loud “HI” isn’t really that weird for Muffin, is it?

Muffin: Aaaaaa-ggaaaa-yyyaaaayyyyaaaaa!

Has she skipped her nap again?

Trix’: Hey girls, Muffin had an accident in the kitchen, so it’s out of bounds for a little while.

Why is everyone suddenly incontinent in this dumpster fire of a fic!?

Bluey: Oh man, were hungry!

In the house, they play Show.

Bluey: Will you marry me, boss.

Muffin: Nope!

Good, because marrying your boss is a bad idea.

Bluey: What! How very dare you?

Bingo: And Muffin, are you shaking?

Muffin: No.

Muffin: I may be a bit erratic, but I don’t have spasms!

A little while later…

Girls: Aunt Trixie! Uncle Stripe!

Snoopy: YAY!!

What are you doing here, Snoopy!? I said go back to your own universe!

Trix’: Muffin Cupcake Heeler!!!

Snoopy: wait what the f- [CENSORED LINE]

Socks: Hey where’s Muffin, I want to play with her playing Sho-

Trix’: Socks, not now, Muffin had an accident.

Another one!?

Bluey: Well, we had an accident. It was very stinky

Bingo: So we need to control our bodies whenever we play a game, before going to the store and bed.

Muffin: Oh, so do I have to do that?

Bluey: Uh, yes! Why don’t you do it now?

Muffin: Ok

Do what?

After a while

Muffin: I went!

Everyone: Whoo! Yes! Wahoo! Go Muffin! Yea-(Trix’: You’re a good pup, Muffin!) -ffin! Mu-ffin!

Um… why is everyone excited now!? What was the author on when they wrote this?!

At the end of the day, Girls And Snoopy: Bye Muffin!

Muffin: Bye!

And they didn’t say goodbye to Socks, Trixie, or Stripe?

Muffin: Can we go out tonight? I f we do, I promise I would go.

Stripe: Ok.

Wait, where exactly are they going?

Muffin: Yeah! Wait for me! I’ll head to the bathroom first!

We see Trixie smiling and saying, Trix’: That’s my girl.

End Credits.

And… that’s that. It honestly feels like someone dropped a bunch of acid while watching the Hello Kitty episode “Going to the Bathroom” and an episode of Bluey at the same time, while also reading Peanuts.