0327: Role the Dice: Asteriskos Sapphirus – “Session” 4, Part 1

Title: Role the Dice: Asteriskos Sapphirus
Author: Travezty
Media: Tabletop RPG
Topic: Dungeons & Dragons
Genre: Adventure / Romance
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by BatJamags, Kane, and Silabar the Librarian

Hello once again, wardens and lunatics!

As of last time, we are, ugh, halfway through this fic. After the protagonists got a ton of unbelievably convenient loot dropped on their heads for no reason and Puff the Magic Dragon/Durrgaul was a massive creep, things finally started kind of sort of almost happening again as they once again tripped over someone with a pre-existing connection to one of the party. In this case an annoying and equally pervy old friend of Durrgaul led them to a town where his own party of three was apparently under some kind of vague threat from two three what do you mean I said two it was definitely always three pay no attention to the author behind the curtain half-dragons, with the author presuming “half-dragon” was a sufficient description of them and providing absolutely nothing else about the first two, with the third guy only described as bigger and a “gladiator” even though he didn’t do any gladiating. The party (with three new members absorbed into the blob with no introduction) narrowly overcame their own incompetence in order to kill these guys. Longtoothclaw’s little pet not-dragon died, which I guess was supposed to be sad even though the party’s own reckless incompetence caused it. Also, Durrgaul’s old friend was injured, which was also supposed to be sad, except for the fact that to the very limited extent that I know him, I hate him.

We resume this nonsense in progress. After the author’s note.

A/N: WHAT’S UP MUCKACHUNGAS!? It’s Traves here, and I am coming at you live to bring you all a new chapter,

You are doing nothing of the fucking kind. Get it through your head: It’s not a YouTube video. It’s not a blog. It’s not even a real D&D campaign. It’s a goddamn prose story. People have been writing these without author’s notes for literal millennia.

and with a huge update for this story! So I don’t know if any of you noticed, but I’m going back and re-editing my previous sessions, thanks to my rethinking of a few things, for Durgaul’Nergahl, and I hope you guys will like the changes I made.

I did notice, because you were incredibly inconsistent about it, and it was highly confusing. I think that this vagueness refers mostly to the horrible homebrew game mechanics, which have been all over the map and consistent only in being inconsistent with how they were described up front. However, this may also have something to do with the random flopping between using “Drugo” and “Durgaul” over the course of the last chapter as well.

Anyway, this chapter is a continuation of the Previous Session, plus, while we are still in the Red vs Blue Arc

And I still wonder why I’m here.