0347: Wild At Heart (Zuko): Chapters 72-78 – FINALE!

Wild At Heart (Zuko) 

Title: Wild At Heart (Zuko) 

Author: Lone-wolf-fanfics

Topic: Avatar: The Last Airbender

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Critiqued by: Linstar

He-llo, I’m Linstar and this is the last part of Wild At Heart. I finally have realized that the fic capitalizes the “At”, which would make my WaH initialization wrong. However, that’s grammatically incorrect, so I’m keeping my initialization. Sue me.

Last time, the Sue continued her regurgitation of The Puppeteer, and it was bland and boring. 

Our counters:

Sunny Scene Change: 6

Be Original!: 58

Get… to… the… point!: 252

Sentenced. To. Death: 409

On to the fic!    

Chapter Seventy-Two               

Hama was apprehended by the same prisoners that she kept in chains but to get there, Katara was forced to do things she didn’t want to. 

Oh, so we’re just telling the plot regurgitation instead of showing it now. Blegh.

Forced to use a bending technique that she had never considered before. 

That doesn’t sound so bad without context.

Sentenced. To. Death: 410

But she did it to save the people that she loves.

I see you, Rose Tico, and I give you the sideeye.

She did it to save Aang and Sokka. Bloodbending. Kali had never considered that either as an aspect of water. She never thought someone would be evil enough to even consider trying to control people with that. 

I mean, you do the same thing with plants all the time.

Sentenced. To. Death: 411

People control other people every single day without the need of bending. As if they need an easier way to do it. Kali stares down at the ground where there was once lively green grass, but now only brown dehydrated grass sits. It’s a sad sight for her. To see nature treated this way. To have all the water stolen from them until they are on the brink of true destruction. 

And, y’know, I guess it was bad when all those people were kidnapped too, but whatever.

Sentenced. To. Death: 414

Kali lets out a breath as she kneels, digging her fingers into the dead grass as Katara moves towards her, brushing the tears from her cheeks. The weight of the day sitting heavy on her shoulders.

“She pulled water from them” Katara explains, Kali nods a little, she knows. 

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Captain Obvious: Captain Obvious is my name, sta—

Yeah, yeah, now scram.

She can hear them now. Now that they are willing to talk to her. The threat has been dealt with.

“That’s why they were scared to talk to me” She points out and then looks up at Katara. “Because I was with you” Katara frowns a little. “They were scared of waterbenders”

As they should be! Stupid plants.

“I would never” Katara starts 

You literally dehydrated several plants to death in your skipped fight with Hama.

and Kali chuckles a little.

“They know now” She assures her warmly and then closes her eyes as she leans forward towards the grass. Suddenly, 

And from behind!

the greenery flushes with life. Erupting around her as she brings them back to life. 

Well, that’s stupid.

Katara lets out a soft breath as she watches Kali. She can’t see how this person, this loving, peaceful, compassionate person fell in love with Zuko of all people. 

ThE sUe Is PeRfEcT, we get it.

Not after everything he’s done. Everything his people have done. “Are you okay?” Kali asks without looking at Katara who shrugs a little.

“I don’t know” She whispers. “I…what I did…” Kali hums a little and lifts her eyes to meet Katara’s own.

*Kermit pulls her eyes out of their sockets and positions them in front of Katara’s.*

I thought we were done with all the weird eyeball shenanigans!

Get… to… the… point!: 254

“You had to do it to save Sokka and Aang…” Kali assures her and then nods to the grass to explain how she knew what she did. Katara lets out a small laugh and then nods, but it feels flat, she still feels terrible about what she did. No matter the reasoning behind it. “You did what you had to do” Katara gives her a sad look. “Not one of us blames you” Kali assures her warmly. Kali looks down at her palm as she turns it up and a flower manifests there. 

We’re all very impressed.

Sentenced. To. Death: 415

Get… to… the… point!: 255

She holds out the flower to Katara and smiles warmly at her. Katara takes it and sighs softly. She knows that Kali is right. But it is hard for her to wrap her heart around it.

Hearts are not gift wrap.

…….

Kali holds Bing in her arms as she stares out at the landscape. Ran-Ya rubs up against her leg. Behind her, the others are packing up the camp and getting ready to leave. Kali doesn’t have a need for a tent when she can grow one from a tree. 

Wouldn’t that be more of a shed if it’s just made out of wood?

She doesn’t take long to pack up in the morning. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. Now that Hama has gone, there is a peace that has settled over nature here. An ease and a comfort. She feels good about what they did.

Whoop-de-doo. 

Sentenced. To. Death: 416

“Kali!” Sokka shouts as he climbs up onto Appa. Kali opens her eyes and then nods even if there is a part of her that hurts. Because every single day she is not reunited with Zuko, she hurts. Some part of her wakes up every single morning thinking that he’ll show up. And it hurts when he doesn’t. But she knows he will. She still believes that they will be reunited. Soon. 

Sentenced. To. Death: 417

She turns and heads towards Appa with her animal friends. She knows that they have a plan moving forward, she hasn’t been told much, she hasn’t been with them long enough for them to have had the time to sit down and go through their plan, much like getting started on Aang’s naturebending.

I’m not sure what to say about this, really. Very confusing sentence.

……..

Now we’re regurgitating from Nightmares and Daydreams; the invasion is in five days, and they’re on an island. *SNIP!*

Be Original!: 59

“Would you like to get started on some naturebending?” Kali asks [Aang], he lets out a breath and glances at her. She looks just as tired as the others, but she is willing to stay up for him. He shrugs a little. Both yes and no. He really wants to find out how to naturebend, but he doesn’t want his friend to suffer for him. “An hour…” She offers. The two of them share a look and he smiles softly. A compromise.

So we get to see Kermit try to teach naturebending. Yaaay.

Sentenced. To. Death: 419

Get… to… the… point!: 256

Chapter Seventy-Three

So as not to disturb Katara, Sokka, and Toph, Aang and Kali move away from the little camp and head into the trees, which will help them anyway. Having the trees around them will help to connect Aang to nature. For her it is as natural as breathing, it’s woven into her to feel that. 

Death Kermit is a blanket now.

Aang needs to forge a connection first. She’s not really sure how to do that for him, 

Because what you just said was nonsense?

but she can try and explain the way she does it, and hope that it can translate well for someone that isn’t naturally linked to nature in the way she is. 

Yeah, can you translate that sentence for me?

She touches the trunk of a tree and closes her eyes before she turns back to Aang.

“Sit” She motions to the ground and he does as he is told, eagerly awaiting. Kali has been travelling with them for a while now and he didn’t want to push her on this. “Close your eyes” She tells him softly, Aang gives her a look and then takes a deep breath as he closes his eyes. “Naturebending is about the connections around you” Kali sits across from him. “The grass to the earth to the wind even the warmth…that even the moon gives off….”

It’s just Yue, peeing on you. 

(Yue is Sokka’s girlfriend who became the Moon Spirit. It’s a long story.)

Get… to… the… point!: 258

“You can’t feel that” Aang argues, Kali leans forward and chuckles softly.

“I can” She tells him and holds out her arm. “It’s subtle, and you have to be tuned in, but you can feel it too” 

Shut up. The moon’s temperature varies between 250F and -208F. What does this have to do with anything and how on earth would this matter?

He opens his eyes to look at her as she stares up at the moon above them. “Naturebending is about feeling those connections…And everything is connected through those threads” She states. “Threads that weave the fabrics of the world together”

This is all BS. Shut up.

Get… to… the… point!: 259

“It’s beautiful” Aang tells her warmly. “The way you see the world”

“It is the way that nature showed me to see it” She admits. “It’s not something I was taught, it’s just the way it has always felt to me” She shrugs a little. “It might not even be right”

Yeah, it isn’t right. It’s annoying and I don’t care.

“It’s right” He assures her. “It feels right” 

Die in a hole.

She looks at him and smiles warmly. She has always felt like it was right. That believing that there are threads connecting everything in the natural world together, is right. 

WE GET IT, YOU’RE RIGHT.

That naturebending is not just about bending nature, 

It’s about being a Mary Sue!

it is about bending those threads. It’s why she feels like naturebenders are different to the other benders, because it’s not so much about bending the element connected to them, 

Which isn’t even an element.

it’s about the threads connecting nature.

None of this has anything to do with ATLA’a actual mechanics! If anything, this sounds like some weird knockoff energybending.

“When you can feel those connections, you can manipulate them, get them to do what you want them to do” She holds out her hands, cupping them together. Aang watches as a deep pink rose manifests in her palm. “You can make beautiful things out of the air around you” She whispers softly. 

So airbending but stupid.

“You can feed a village….

It takes a village to come up with a story as original as this.

Get… to… the… point!: 260

build a house….

That’s more earthbending’s thing.

Get… to… the… point!: 261

nurture a fire through cold nights….” 

Which is just firebending.

Get… to… the… point!: 262

She draws off and takes a deep breath. Her mind going to the people hurt by this. By the fact that they are that powerful. Because the Fire Nation, because Sozin saw them as a threat, the naturebenders were almost made extinct. 

Because of unoriginality, they’re just carbon copies of the airbenders but green and Speshuler.

Sentenced. To. Death: 421

Because of what they can do. Aang seems to notice her mood change. She’s a generally cheerful person, 

News to me.

Sentenced. To. Death: 422

but there are a number, a small number of things, that get her down. Her people and their fate is, obviously, one of them. 

Le waaangst.

Aang scoots closer to her and takes the flower from her hand.

“Sokka and Katara don’t really know why the Fire Nation attacked your people” Aang starts. Kali clears her throat as he tucks the flower into her hair. “Do you…know why?”

Because we had to copy and paste the Air Nomad genocide in a way that made far less sense than the original, for some reason.

Get… to… the… point!: 263

“I don’t know why they did it” She whispers and shrugs. “Just that they did….”

“Well, at least some of them escaped” He adds. “That they are safe now” 

Okay, Aang, how do you know this? Did Kermit mention Florida Professor? Secondly, that second sentence is really awkward. You don’t need that “that”.

Get… to… the… point!: 264

She hums and nods in agreement. She had felt like she was alone for so long, but knowing that Tian Tang is out there is a weight off.

I see Florida Professor is into weight loss.

……….

Later, Aang wanders through the trees as he worries over the coming battle. Kali has gone to sleep leaving him to ponder it all on his own. He’s worried. 

Are we going to get regurgitation of Aang’s weird hallucinations in this episode?

Because he is nowhere near ready. No firebending, and only just starting to learn naturebending. He is nowhere near ready to do something like this. 

But this eclipse is going to be their best shot at it. There is no arguing that. 

You sure? Because I love arguing, and I can certainly give it a shot. 

The Fire Nation already knows about the eclipse, and is prepared for it. They instead should try to recruit all the OP naturebenders and have them infiltrate the Fire Nation at some other point before Sozin’s comet arrives.

Aang suddenly turns around, 

From behind!

Wait, no, that doesn’t work.

his hands held up to attack. He finds that the ‘threat’, is Zuko, who stands in front of him, the hart behind him, nudging at his shoulder to push him forward.

Ah! How did Zuko get here?

Aang blinks and drops his hand. The two of them staring at one another. There is rustling behind him through the trees and he barely gets to turn around but he sees her. 

Sentenced. To. Death: 423

The red hair and her green skin flashing through the bushes.

Use. Full. Sentences. Please!

Sentenced. To. Death: 424

“Zuko!” She shouts and runs straight for him, basically throwing herself at him. He lets out a long sigh of relief. The two of them tumble to the ground immediately after contact is made. He curls her up in his arms, clutching to her tightly. But she is holding him just as tightly. 

That might cause some bruising.

They have both missed one another immeasurably. 

Believe me, we know.

And, if he’s honest, it is the first time anyone has been excited to see him. “You found me” 

She whispers softly. He presses his cheek to the top of her head.

“I will always find you” He assures her as he takes a deep breath as he closes his eyes. He doesn’t even know how long it has been. But it has been far, far too long. To spend every day with someone and then for that to be taken away, it was a shock to his system. And now it feels right again. He feels whole again. “How did you know I was here?” He asks her as he draws his fingers over her cheek. 

Magic plant nonsense. The real question is; how did you know she was here?

She smirks at him.

The smug jerk.

…I remember reading about the idea that “smirk” should be thought of as a contraction of “smug jerk” in a BatJamags riff somewhere. Good stuff.

“Trees talk” She answers warmly. 

As stupid as that is, at least it’s consistent.

He smiles back at her and leans forward to press his forehead to hers. Aang mumbles something causing them to turn to him. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Zuko asks Kali.

He’s in this fic!

“He hasn’t slept yet” She whispers to Zuko. “I doubt he even knows you are really here, we’re both probably just blurry figures” She waves her hand in front of Aang’s face as he blinks dumbly. She gives Zuko a look and he snorts. “Go back to camp, Aang” She turns the boy and gently nudges him in the direction of the camp. Aang sleepily stumbles along. 

Yup, Aang is having trouble sleeping in this episode. It’s… not the strongest episode of ATLA in my opinion. Might be the worst episode in Season Three.

Zuko touches the small of Kali’s back and she turns to him. “Are you coming back with me?” She asks him, nodding in the direction Aang went. He hesitates though. He hadn’t actually thought about having to join the group. His mind was simply on reuniting with Kali. 

The fic realized that Zuko reuniting with Kermit during the invasion was stupid, so it stopped pinning him down in the capital and teleported him here instead.

He has to interact with the others, he has to talk to them, to basically live with them now.

“I don’t know what to say to them” He admits. “After everything I’ve done…I had the chance to join them in Ba Sing Se….And I stood against them” 

I guess you did, temporarily.

Get… to… the… point!: 266

She curls her hand around his cheek.

“What you did in Ba Sing Se was for me” She reminds him. “They will understand…the rest…” She hums and shrugs. “Perhaps it will take time…” He pulls a face and she chuckles a little pulling him towards her. “They’ll understand that they need you” She adds, he looks down at her. “Aang needs a firebender…” He sighs and shrugs a little. “Do you want to wait till morning?” 

To do what?

Oh, and this paragraphing is beyond confusing.

Get… to… the… point!: 270

She asks. “We can camp out here” He leans forward and sets his forehead against hers. Right now, after their time apart, that sounds amazing.

What does? What are they doing? Are we referring to them banging?

Kali AI Art

I suppose that at least entering a prompt into a generator is moderately more ethical than just straight-up stealing art directly. This way the AI does it for you or whatever. 

 Readers

Yes?

As I have done with a couple of stories, I have some Kali AI art. 

Unfortunately, Wattpad won’t let me copy these, so I had to screenshot them. …in scenarios like this, I find myself more appreciative of ff.net’s rules. 

Oh, and note that all of these have realistic non-green skin tones. Apparently the image generator the author used can’t do green skin. 

I’m not sure why the author didn’t just pick one of these as a “canonical” depiction of Death Kermit, but for some reason we got six different ones.

What’s with the floating crown over her bun? And the way that… giant armsleeve (???) and the leaf in the lower left corner interact is confusing. But most of all, look at that leg. Author, you really should have just cropped that.

I can’t see anything really wrong with this image; though I don’t see why she has flowers for a button, and is that a mole? What’s with these forehead circle things?

Boy are Zuko’s hands distorted here. Did he stick them in a blender? Kermit’s hair looks a little off, too. And what’s with that weird, circular sunset? I don’t understand how the clouds can be like that.

Again with the giant forehead pimple. I don’t really understand why the armbands are so inconsistent, though. Oh, and her hair is weird near the bottom. It seems rather detached. Wait, how is she lit like that from behind when the sun is overhead? And is that a belt, or just a weirdly exposed midriff? I can’t really tell.

This one makes Kermit look like she’s twelve. Kinda weird. Some of those trees in the background look like they don’t have tree trunks. Oh, and what’s that garbled text in the lower right corner? Is that what AI does to signatures? I assume so.

Those petals at the top left seem like they’re out of place and in a different artstyle. And what’s with that weird part where Kermit’s dress goes up, in the bottom left corner? Hmm. The lighting on Kermit’s hair isn’t quite right either. Wait, does her dress even have any straps holding it up? It looks like it’s going to fall off at any second!

And while we’re at it, why not look at the cover image too?

It at least looks like someone put effort into this. The font isn’t my favorite, and it looks like Zuko is the author, but at the very least this art doesn’t look like it’s AI. Might be stolen, though.

Chapter Seventy-Four

Deeper in the trees, Kali places her hand on the trunk of the tree and the branch above grows downward to create a sort of canopy roof for them to sleep under. 

You couldn’t just do that with leaves and not the branch itself?

Zuko smiles to himself, it feels like it has been so long since he witnessed her doing this. It brings a sense of belonging, a sense of home. 

It does?

He really has missed her. He has even missed the way that being in nature with her feels. Like there is some depth and comfort and vibrancy that nowhere else has. 

My favorite; random internal monologues that are vague, vapid, and serve only to praise the Sue.

He sits on the ground in front of a lit fire as he watches her softly, a hand rubbing at his eyes. Now he is back with Kali, all those sleepless nights are creeping up on him. 

Maybe even… lonely nights?

But he doesn’t want to sleep just yet, he wants to talk to her.

“So” He starts and lets out a breath. “Are you okay?” She chuckles a little and nods.

“I’m fine” She assures him softly as she sits at his side, leaning against him. “What about you?” She asks. “You are the one who went into ‘enemy’ territory” He smiles a little. “You could have been caught”

“I wasn’t” He reminds her, she nods and closes her eyes, sinking into his side as he wraps an arm around her. The two of them basking in the fire warmth and each other’s warmth. 

My flamethrowers are really ineffective.

Sentenced. To. Death: 425

He really has missed her immensely and being back in the capital reminded him of the life he had before he met her. Before all of this started, and how much it has changed. How much he has changed. He would have given anything to be allowed to go home, until Kali. He’s not sure he ever wants to go back now. 

Well, I don’t think you can.

Because he isn’t sure she’ll be allowed to come with him, or even if she will want to go with him. 

Also you’re a wanted fugitive, but you know, tomato, tomahto.

She hardly has a reason to when Tian Tang exists and the Fire Nation hasn’t done anything for her or her people.

Shut up about Florida Professor!

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Kali asks Zuko who lets out a long breath, brought out of his thoughts by her voice.

“It was Iroh that sent the scroll, he wanted me to learn about my other great-grandfather”

“Not Sozin?” She counters, he hums and shakes his head.

“My mother’s grandfather was…..” He pauses and glances down at her as she snuggles into his side. “Roku”

“Roku?” She asks him softly. “Avatar Roku?” 

How do you know who he is but not King Kuei? 

*grits teeth in memory of that line*

Get… to… the… point!: 271

He hums in agreement.

Stop humming!

She pulls away from Zuko to look up at him. “And you didn’t know?”

“She never spoke about her family” He answers and shrugs. He never thought anything about it when he was growing up. But now he is older, he notices how little his mother told them about her side of the family. How little any of them spoke of her family. It’s the realisation that he barely knows anything. “Iroh wanted me to see that there was good and bad in me” He continues as he draws his fingers down her arm. “That I should understand what that means to me…that I might struggle with the good and bad….” She hums a little. “What If I am just like Sozin?” He asks her. Kali tilts her head a little.

“You are a good man, Zuko” She assures him softly, curling her hand around his face, she draws her thumb over his cheek and smiles warmly at him. “You set me free”

“Iroh….” He starts to argue but she shakes her head.

“Physically, yes” She agrees. 

At first, I thought he was referencing how he left Iroh in prison for no reason. However, he’s actually referencing how Iroh freed her.

Fic, just finish your sentences!

Get… to… the… point!: 274

Sentenced. To. Death: 426

“But….I didn’t feel truly free until…well, until I fell in love with you” She whispers. 

That’s sweet.

Fic, please do more original dialogue about things that aren’t stupid. 

I herby grant you one (1) redemption cookie.

Get… to… the… point!: 276

Zuko leans forward and presses his forehead to hers. He knows he is lucky, but then she says things like that and he remembers just how lucky he is to have found her, and found her when he did. He then suddenly remembers something. That he didn’t come back alone.

Oh, and then we have a brick coming right up.

Sentenced. To. Death: 427

“I’ll be right back” He whispers and kisses her head before he stands. She frowns and watches as he disappears through the trees. Kali leans up a little, surprised that he’s wandering off with the risk that Katara or Sokka might see him. Though less likely for Sokka to be awake. Once he’s asleep, there is little chance of him waking before mid-morning. 

Yeah, that sums up Sokka.

Sentenced. To. Death: 428

Kali can probably persuade Sokka to be okay with Zuko being here more than she could Katara though. Katara will be the problem. 

Again, accurate. Katara is the one who dislikes Zuko the most.

But Kali is not willing to be away from Zuko again. Not after this time apart and the time she spent away from him in Ba Sing Se. She deserves to get what she wants now. She spent years at the bottom of the pile, getting nothing except the worst, now she deserves happiness and she deserves to be with Zuko. 

That sounds very entitled, I must say.

The trees rustle and Kali lets out a relieved breath when Zuko returns, her body sinking with it. 

Huh? What do you mean by that, fic?

He gives her soft smile before glancing over his shoulder. 

God of Tarzan Grammar accept sacrifice.

Behind him, the hart appears. He’d left it away from here just in case they’d reacted negatively to his arrival and for some reason took it out on the hart. He didn’t think they would, but he wasn’t 100% sure and he didn’t want to be wrong and it to get hurt. 

I think it was just so we could have this dramatic reveal here.

So he tied it to a tree through the trees to retrieve when he was sure. Kali pushes herself to her feet and moves to the hart as Zuko pulls the reign system from his head to make him comfortable.

Reign system, also known as a “government”.

“Hi” Kali greets warmly, rubbing her hand over the hart’s nose. She is glad to see that Zuko kept the hart with him and didn’t just leave him somewhere to fend for himself. She didn’t think he would. But it is nice to see her faith rewarded. 

Whoop-de-doo, then.

She leans forward and presses her forehead to the hart’s nose as she draws her hand around to his cheek. Zuko smiles softly watching the two of them before Kali pulls back from the hart and moves back to Zuko. The hart trots closer to the two of them as they move back to the fire.

She sinks into his side again as the hart curls up around the two of them, basically getting as close to them as he can. Zuko pokes at the fire and then lets out a breath.

“Do they have a plan?” He asks, glancing at Kali. “All this time, they have to have some form of a plan, right?”

“You’d be surprised” She answers with a sigh, because she believed like he did, that they have to have had a plan this entire time, but no. 

They do have a plan, though.

Though she does know now that they have a plan for the Fire Nation and winning the war. 

That’s what I just said.

Because Sokka sat her down and explained it all to her to reassure her that it isn’t going to be a ‘on their feet’ situation. That would be a terrible way to go about the war. 

what

“Well” She starts and sighs. “I only know what Sokka has told me” She explains a little. “And he can be a little…..I don’t know what the right word is” She whispers to herself. “There’s a solar eclipse approaching in four days” She tells him. Zuko lets out a breath and nods.

“Which will mean that all fire-benders lose their bending ability” He realises.

Yeppers. That’s what it do.

Get… to… the… point!: 277

“So they are planning an invasion-esque attack then” 

Also known as an invasion.

Zuko glances at her, sees that she is studying his reaction to this, waiting to see what he will say. He knows it is a smart plan. Wait until the fire-benders are no longer a threat, even if it is for mere minutes, then attack using the time given.

The Fire Nation did something similar to the Northern Water Tribe in Book One.

“Just the five of you?” He asks, she hums and shakes her head.

“No” She answers. “There are more. I don’t know exactly, all I know is that I sent word to Tian Tang asking for aid…I mean, Sokka sent word…he wrote the letter” He hums a little. At least grateful that they are willing to help her out in that aspect. “But I signed it” She adds proudly. “I am getting better” 

Attempted character development is a good thing in my book.

Get… to… the… point!: 278

She whispers. “Sokka has been teaching me, like you did, but he’s harder to understand” She frowns a little. Sokka has been trying his best to teach her to read and write, but it’s not the same as Zuko doing it. “He’s very sure of his plan” She assures him and Zuko hums a little, pondering it. Well, with the moment he has before Bing and Ran-Ya are on him, the moment they burst through the bushes. 

Right, those entirely memorable characters.

Zuko finds himself chuckling as he gives the two animals attention. He was never an animal person. Never. But being around Kali, being around Bing. And then Ran-Ya. And then the hart. He can see why Kali loves them so much. They are so affectionate and loyal. And loyalty has been so fleeting in his life. 

Aaaand we’re getting into more random thoughts.

Sentenced. To. Death: 432

He has two people. Only two, who he knows he can rely on to be utterly loyal to him. Iroh and Kali. Right now, there are more animals than people that are loyal to him. 

Three as opposed to two?

Sentenced. To. Death: 433

Which is rather sad when he thinks about it. But right now, they are all he needs. This little group of beings at his side and he knows he made the right choice coming back to her. 

Mostly because staying at the capital was an insane idea. By the way, it’s never explained how Zuko managed to get find Kermit and the Gaang.

He rests the side of his head on the top of hers and closes his eyes. “We can talk about the rest later” She assures him, her hand on his chest. “Please” She whispers. As much as she is glad that he is here, she knows that talking about this will bring up how the others are going to react. She already knows how this is going to be. She is not going to leave Zuko, but she is aware that Aang needs nature-bender guidance. And she is not ready to be made to choose yet. So she’ll take the rest of the night to be with him, here, now, before it unfolds in the morning. 

I guess that makes sense.

Zuko kisses her head and nods. He can accept that. He lets her snuggle into his chest as she gets herself comfortable against him. “You’ll be great” She assures him warmly. It just makes him realise that he is going to have to plead his case to them. To allow him to stay. He is going to have to make some kind of speech. He holds Kali to him tighter as he ponders that. Because he has no idea what he is going to say to them to get them to let him stay.

Eh, that was probably one of this fic’s better chapters.

Sentenced. To. Death: 434

Chapter Seventy-Five 

As the morning sun starts to stream through the trees, 

One last addition to the counter!

Sunny Scene Change: 7

Zuko leans against a tree, slightly away from where Kali is currently sleeping alongside her collection of animals. He didn’t want to disturb her. He barely slept. He just held Kali as she did. Until his mind started going over and over what is to come. Not the fight. No, that’s not all that scary. But facing the Avatar and his friends and apologising for his actions, asking to stay with them, to help them. Once he fell down that rabbit hole, he spiralled.

Again, that’s in-character for Zuko. He’s very brash and good at fighting, but bad at communicating with others.

Sentenced. To. Death: 435

Zyko recites a canon awkward speech at how he wants to join Team Avatar. *SNIP!*

Be Original!: 60

“What are you doing?” Zuko squeaks surprised. He spins to find Kali watching him from the ground. Bing and Ran-Ya curled up against her side.

To be clear, that was supposed to be Kermit’s line. The paragraphing in this fic is so grating.

“Nothing” He answers and she gives him a look. “I…was practising what I am going to say” He caves, his shoulders slouching. “To them..to get them to let me….stay….with you and to help…” He runs his fingers through his hair and then closes his eyes. “Petal…” He starts. He doesn’t know how this is going to work. He can’t see them forgiving him or trusting him after everything he’s done to them. She shoos the two animals softly and then pushes herself to her feet as Zuko buries his face in his hands. He can’t see a way for them to forgive him after everything he’s done to them. 

I can understand that.

Get… to… the… point!: 284

Kali touches his face softly and curls her palms around his cheeks.

…the ones on his face, right?

“You’ll be fine” She assures him. “Show them the Zuko that I fell in love with…and they won’t be able to resist” 

That sounds regurgitated, but I can’t figure out from where.

See, this is why you don’t regurgitate stuff, no one will assume your good lines were ever anyone else’s!

He smiles a little and nods before he opens his eyes to look down at her softly. “Turn up your sleeves” She adds, harking back to a conversation they had a very long time ago now. 

Right, because at some point during the Ba Sing Se arc the fic ripped off a random motivational quote.

She’s asking him to show his true character and fight for this. To work hard for this. For them.

“Turn up my sleeves” Zuko repeats, more to himself than to her.

I like the idea of a callback, but this is just not a good one.

Sentenced. To. Death: 437

“Are you ready?” 

She asks him, he hums and shakes his head but takes a step back, her hands falling from his face so he can thread his fingers with hers. He might not be ready for this, but it needs to be done. He needs to face them. He takes a deep breath and then walks away, with Kali trailing along behind him, her hand held tightly by him.

……

It’s almost instantaneous. The second that Kali and Zuko walk into the camp where Katara, Aang, Toph and Sokka are all gathered, packing up their belongings from the night before, they are spotted. Sokka screams and points at Zuko. Kali rolls her eyes a little and squeezes Zuko’s hand in reassurance. He can do this. She has faith in him. Katara’s eyes harden as she glares straight at Zuko. Aang goes a little stiffer in stance, but very clearly tries to keep his face neutral. Toph….well Toph is still facing the other direction, but her head has tilted slightly in their direction. She doesn’t really need to fully turn around.

I mean, Toph should turn around so she can hear them well.

Get… to… the… point!: 285

“Hello..” Zuko greets and raises his free hand up to wave at the group. “Zuko here” 

Oh, hey, it’s the line from the gif in the intro.

Get… to… the… point!: 286

The gang prepares to attack Zuko the second he finishes his greeting.

“Guys” Kali scolds, placing herself in front of Zuko and between him and the threat that is now facing him. “You promised you would try…remember?” Aang shifts first, settling into a more relaxed stance. Sokka glances at him and then sighs before he follows his example. Kali is his friend and he will give her this. Toph has nothing against Zuko so she easily caves too. Katara is the issue. But Kali knew that Katara would be the hardest to persuade. She’s holding on to so much grief and pain from her own personal history with the Fire Nation, despite Zuko having nothing to do with what occurred in the past. 

What? No, she hates Zuko for what he personally did, too.

Get… to… the… point!: 287

Kali has her own personal history with the Fire Nation, her people were almost eradicated by them, Azula shot her with lightning, her home with Rana was burnt to the ground, 

Rana? I thought her name was Raya? How do you even make that mistake, “y” and “n” are nowhere near each other on a keyboard!

and she herself was burnt in that attack. She got over it. 

As you do with genocide, attempted murder, and arson.

And she knows it’s not the same, not really, but still.

This isn’t some random Fire Nation civilian or even soldier; this is the guy who’s relentlessly stalked her and her friends across continents, burning down multiple innocent villages.

Appa growls close by before moving to Zuko, Zuko closes his eyes expecting pain, but instead, Appa licks him twice. Zuko rubs his cheek onto his shoulder trying to remove the flying bison’s saliva. Appa then moves to Kali’s side, letting her scratch at his head as Zuko faces his fears.

Because Appa remembers that Zuko rescued him.

And then Zuko recites his canon speech from The Western Air Temple where he wants to join Team Avatar. *SNIP!*

Be Original!: 61

“We should talk about this” Aang offers turning to his friends. “Before we….” Katara shakes her head at him but Aang can see something here. The Zuko they met at the Water Tribe, the Zuko that chased them every step of the way, he is not here. There is little of that young man left. He’s here, asking for forgiveness, the Zuko that chased Aang all over the place would never have done that. 

The magic of character development!

Get… to… the… point!: 288

Katara then stomps away, followed by Sokka and Toph.

“Kali” Aang turns to her. “You should be a part of this” He adds and gives her a look. In this conversation, she will be the only voice that is entirely on Zuko’s side. She needs to speak up. She nods a little and then turns to Zuko as the others shift away from them to talk in peace. Kali turns to Zuko.

“Don’t worry” She whispers to him. “I won’t let them send you away” He leans forward to press his forehead to hers. He really hopes that she is right about this and them.

She will be. Not only is she the Sue, but she has canon regurgitation on her side!

Chapter Seventy-Six

Only three more!

Kali is perched on a fallen tree as Katara paces in front of her, Aang sitting on her right and Toph on her left. Sokka leans against a tree, his eyes tracking his sister. Kali is willing to fight for Zuko here. Katara cannot be emotional about this. 

Aang needs a firebending teacher and a naturebending teacher and Kali needs Zuko.

Katara talks about how Zuko talked with her in Ba Sing Se. *SNIP!*

Be Original!: 62

“Azula threatened to kill me if he didn’t join her that day” Kali whispers. Katara looks at her sharply as Sokka leans up from the tree. “He stood against you to save my life….” Kali lifts her eyes to look at Katara. “I begged him not to…..but…”

“He didn’t want you to die” Toph finishes. “Even if it meant turning….bad” Kali nods in agreement and gives Katara a soft look. 

“Everything he said about his mother, was true…that Zuko, is my Zuko….the real Zuko” 

Again, character development.

Get… to… the… point!: 294

Katara’s face muscle twitch a little, 

The singular one?

because Kali is getting to her and if that’s true, if Zuko turned on them for her, then how can Katara hate him for that. If she was honest, then she knows they all would have probably made the same choice.

I mean, yeah, it is a fair point.

Aang brings up how Zuko rescued him as the Blue Spirit. *SNIP!*

Be Original!: 63

“He was poisoned” Kali adds. “Saving Appa, he was poisoned. He almost died…” 

Yeah, and that was a bizarre change.

Get… to… the… point!: 295

Aang nods along agreeing with her, even though he wasn’t there and didn’t see, he believes Kali.

For some reason.

More arguing, Aang needs a firebending teacher. *SNIP!*

Be Original!: 64

Toph then stamps her feet on the ground to a point where the ground shakes slightly. “And two….Kali is our friend” 

Though I really wish we’d gotten more development in that aspect.

Get… to… the… point!: 296

She turns her head slightly towards Kali. “And if we say no to Zuko, she walks, and Aang needs a naturebender teacher…..” Sokka goes to argue but then stops when he realises that Toph is right. If they deny Zuko then they lose two teachers. Sokka turns to give Katara a look. If none of those reasons are good enough for Katara, then nothing they say is going to be enough.

Get… to… the… point!: 297

…….

Kali passes through the trees and back to where Zuko is waiting for them. Kali’s animals all huddled up around him so he at least had some comfort and companionship as he waited for them to decide his fate. Zuko’s eyes search her face, trying to read their decision on it, but she’s actually hiding it pretty well. 

Ah! No more telekinetic eyeballs, please!

She touches his arm softly as she reaches him, gently trying to reassure him. Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Toph appear through the trees behind her and Zuko steps closer to Aang. Clutching his hands in front of him as he basically plans to plead before they can say anything to him.

They let Zuko join. *SNIP!*

Be Original!: 65

Kali sees him looking so much younger at that moment. All the stress of the last few weeks just ebbing away into acceptance and ease. He is not alone. 

Good for you, buddy.

He is here with Kali and her friends are letting him stay and help right the wrongs of his bloodline. Zuko turns to Kali who now smiles softly. He grabs her face in his hands 

Stop reminding me of the face-eating children from My Immoral.

and smiles at her. Kali chuckles and can’t help but beam back at him. He’s so happy about this. He leans closer and rests his forehead against hers. Sokka pulls a face and turns away and Aang just smiles watching the two of them together. Katara’s eyes soften slightly, but not enough that she is going to be seen as completely forgiving him. He’ll have to work for that. But Kali is her friend and Toph was right about Aang needing them.

Uh-huh. Cool.

Chapter Seventy-Seven

Which starts out with one heck of a brick o’text.

It went well with the others but that doesn’t mean that they are all going to suddenly become friends, and with how stressed out they all must be contemplating the upcoming battle Zuko has to accept that it is going to take time for them to fall into some form of camaraderie, and maybe friendship. 

That did not need to be one sentence.

Maybe. He’s not holding his breath on that though. 

Good, because we don’t want you asphyxiating.

Sentenced. To. Death: 438

Especially with Katara. Zuko sits at the fire, his eyes glancing around at the others as they run through their day. Aang and Kali are training, a little bit of naturebending to get their morning started. Sokka is laying in his sleeping bag, a map held up as he goes over their plans for what is coming. Toph has gone off to clean up, each of them taking their turns in the morning to clean up at the nearby river in private and peace. Katara is practising her waterbending from a bucket. Leaving Zuko alone. 

I really liked that episode.

Sentenced. To. Death: 440

Of course things weren’t going to be the same with him and Kali now that they are reunited. It isn’t just the two of them this time. 

And it wasn’t that when Iroh was around, either.

Bing lays curled up in his lap, enjoying the distracted attention that Zuko is giving him. It’s attention all the same. 

It’s all Search Engine needs to avoid the SDQF.

Zuko doesn’t know what to do with himself. He is new and awkward and on the edges of the group. 

Don’t group yourself on all that cut!

It is going to take time for him to become accustomed to this dynamic. He can’t just slot himself into the group as if none of the last year has happened. He did things that hurt them and he can’t just undo that. They happened and he has to deal with the consequences that come from his actions. He is just lucky that they let him stay, and he knows that there is a chance they did that just for Kali. Yet again, it gets him thinking about where he would be without her. Back home with his father? Marching along to whatever they wanted him to do? Listening to Azula? 

Yes, actually.

He wouldn’t be the person he wanted to be, he wouldn’t be close to it. He’s close now. Because of her. He’s close to being a better man. 

Great.

Sentenced. To. Death: 441

Because he has Kali to guide him. To show him a better way. 

That was bland. I really wish we would spend less time in people’s heads.

Sentenced. To. Death: 443

He jumps a little when Bing jumps up from his lap and runs towards Kali as she approaches the two of them. Ran-Ya running between her legs, yapping away happily.

“Thought you and Aang were practising” He states as she drops herself into his lap, his arm wrapping around her softly.

“He’s too tired” She states and glances back at Aang. “He can’t concentrate” Aang wavers where he stands. Clearly exhausted. “He’s worried about the invasion”

Are we regurgitating again?

Sentenced. To. Death: 445

“He’s not ready” Zuko comments, Kali hums in sort of agreement. She’s not sure what she thinks. He has done enough for air, water, and earth. With the invasion occurring during an eclipse, fire isn’t all that important right now. 

Legitimate point.

Nature would come in handy, but it is not necessary either. She’s not even sure where it stands with the Avatar. 

Not part of it.

All she has is that she was told it had to be taught to him. 

By whom?

She doesn’t really know why. Why is nature a part of his learning arcs when there is no Avatar that comes from the naturebending? There has never been an Avatar that comes from her people. 

Because they don’t belong in this world!

So why does he need to learn that from her?

He doesn’t!

“Perhaps” She voices and then shrugs. “But what choice do we have” She turns back to Zuko. “The eclipse is the best chance they have” He hums in agreement. It is a good play when their bad guy is the Fire Lord. There is no other nation where this would work. 

Huh? There are lunar eclipses too, which affect the waterbenders.

“We still have some time” She adds. “Perhaps you can teach him the basics before…”

“No” Zuko argues. “He’s not ready yet” She pouts at him. “Naturebending offers insight into the four elements….” 

Staaahhp.

Get… to… the… point!: 299

He reminds her softly. “Harmony, unity, and peace” He repeats Iroh’s words. “That’s the lesson here” She hums a little, considering it. Iroh is the wisest of them all and she does remember those words from him. 

Remember how Zuko abandoned him in jail because the fic didn’t think things through? Because I certainly do.

“He needs to understand how all of the elements work together to find harmony

Is he Princess Celestia now?

and peace… before he can attempt firebending” She chuckles a little.

“Listen to you” She coos warmly. “If I closed my eyes I could hear your uncle” He rolls his eyes and pinches at her side to scold her lightly but he is smiling. If he comes out of this whole experience sounding a fraction as wise as Iroh, then he will consider himself a better person. 

Gah. That’s a good line.

Get… to… the… point!: 300

Katara watches the two of them. Her eyes softening. Because deep down she wants to believe that he’s different. But her own pain and grief and hurt is clouding her. Seeing them together like this is helping. Kali is a good person.

*headdesk*

Sentenced. To. Death: 447

And she would not have fallen in love with Zuko if there was nothing redeemable inside of him. There has to be something good in there for Kali to see and if she sees it then maybe they should try to as well. She brushes her hands across his face, a small frown on her face as she takes in the teary eyes. 

Wait, is this “she” Katara or Kali?

He smiles though. Because they are far from sad tears. He’s happy. And he’s grateful. “I love you” She whispers softly, letting it flow around him as if on a wisp of wind. He closes his eyes and lets out a soft breath. She leans forward, resting her forehead against his. He hums softly.

“I love you too” He assures her softly. His voice barely above a whisper against her lips. He then leans back. Curling his hand around Kali’s jaw, gently brushing his thumb over her skin with a soft sigh. His eyes taking in her face. All that time he spent away from her. All that time he had to use his own memories to remind himself how beautiful she is. Now he has her in front of him and his memories did not do her justice. “You’re so beautiful” He whispers softly. His fingers soft on her green skin. She’s not as caught up in her skin colour anymore. Whilst she does transform herself in crowded areas, around outsiders, among her friends she allows herself to be herself. No longer ashamed of what she looks like. 

As long as we don’t have to hear more AnGsT about it.

Sentenced. To. Death: 452

He brushes his lips over hers before it quickly deepens. The two of them pulling one another as close as possible to one another.

“Uh oh gross!” Sokka shouts 

Sentenced. To. Death: 453

as he spots Zuko and Kali curled up on the ground and lip-locked deeply. “Guys, not out in the open!!!” Zuko drops his head to Kali’s shoulder as she chuckles. “There are tents!” Sokka rushes towards them and shoos them with his hands causing Kali to laugh harder.

So. Funny.

News

Readers

Yes?

Don’t worry, I am not ending this story, 

Aww. Darn it.

this is more of a note for post-story. 

Then why is it here?

I would love to do something similar to this but with Sokka. 

You’re turning him into a Death Kermit clone?

Not an identical Kali, but some form of adaptation of her. 

Noooo! Sokka, get out while you still can!

I am open to ideas and stuff if there is a different type of character you see for Sokka. 

How about one of his canon love interests? He has plenty to choose from!

(Though a part of me does love the idea of a Zuko non-bender weapons-based twin

So just Mai?

or older sister with Sokka; 

You want to ship Sokka with an OC older sister? Please, no Oreimo flashbacks!

though her being a nature-bender 

Please, anything but that.

and an adopted sister of Zuko would work too (like a war ward or something))

Um, okay?

I would love to have the idea all fleshed out by the time Kali’s story with Zuko comes to an end, 

Then wait until then to bring it up at all!

there are only 11 episodes left (I would likely do a sort of flash-forward epilogue (for now; I haven’t seen all of Korra yet so that’s not something I am going to go into yet), 

I mean, Korra is kinda mid, but I still don’t want to see a version of Izumi with green skin!

so ideas on the sort of ending scene you would want for Zuko and Kali) 

How about Kali reveals her time-travel powers and they result in all loleverythingbenders being wiped from existence?

Chapter Seventy-Eight

The last one! Woohoo!

Kali lays on her back staring up at the stars as they twinkle against the darkened sky. 

Not quite a sunset, but the aftermath thereof.

She’s finding it hard to sleep because she can hear and feel Aang training by himself, despite the late hour. She could have gotten up and gone over to help him or stop him, but he wasn’t looking for either of those things. Nothing any of them say right now is going to help him. Or perhaps she doesn’t know how to help him. 

He needs sleep, clearly. Thanks for not going overboard on the regurgitation of this episode (though it did make the regurgitation of Zuko join the Gaang odd, since Aang wasn’t at all sleep-deprived), at least.

This is breaching beyond her expertise. And whilst she knows how to comfort people, comforting people who are nervous about war is not something that she knows how to do. 

Okay, that’s a bizarre statement.

Zuko runs his fingers over her cheek as he searches her eyes. He knows her well enough to see that she is struggling because Aang is struggling. Her kind heart wants her to help him but she doesn’t know how. 

I wish we were shown this better.

She turns her face into his hand and he gives her a soft smile.

“If you could have anything you want right now, what would it be?” She asks him, he lets out a breath and looks up at the stars, thoughtful.

“A bed” He teases a little, she chuckles and curls into his side. “My back is killing me” He continues, drawing his arm around her.

That’s fair, I must say.

“You get used to it” She assures him. “I rather like sleeping outside”

“We could do that with a bed” He counters teasingly. “Can’t you make us one?”

“Can I make a bed?” She counters and he hums in question. “I don’t…think so, unless it’s…made up of plants….perhaps a wood frame and a…..mattress made of….” She stops as she considers what would be needed for that but she’s unsure if she could. 

Why not? Toph can make one, and you have earthbending.

Get… to… the… point!: 305

Perhaps a hammock made of interlocking palm leaves. That might be the best she could do with her bending. 

That does sound nice, honestly.

Zuko leans closer and kisses her head, having successfully distracted her from Aang. She snuggles into Zuko’s chest as she thinks about floral furniture instead of worrying about Aang.

Floral furniture. Hmm… I wonder if you could make scented couches. Brian, write that idea down.

“What about you?” He asks her softly. “If you could have anything you want right now, what would it be?”

The end of this fic.

Which I’m going to get, quite soon, so hooray for me then!

“A big fancy fruit tart, with rose petals on top” She admits and holds out her hand. 

…that’s Mai’s dialogue! From Nightmares and Daydreams, where she chats with Zuko, who she is dating. Stop stealing! 

Be Original!: 66

“But a real one….” He frowns a little. “When I was with Rana. 

Did Raya’s name change at some point? This is the second time we’ve seen this typo.

Unless Rana was a separate owner from Raya?

Get… to… the… point!: 306

When she was my owner……there was a bakery in the village we lived in” She explains. “I would see them coming and going with these tarts, but I….was never allowed to have one because it would mean revealing my face….my green skin to the villagers” 

Huh? How did you see these tarts in a way that no one could see you? This is very confusing, and could have been much more clearly presented as “I was a slave, so my owner never bought me treats”. That would make far more sense.

Get… to… the… point!: 309

She looks up at Zuko. “I would like to go back one day and have one…and feel no shame for who I am or what I look like….” 

And also not be a slave. Right? Right? We’re not glorifying slavery (or showing it again in any form), right?

Get… to… the… point!: 311

Zuko nods in agreement.

“We can all go” They both jump at the voice turning to look across at Toph. “Sounds delicious”

“Ah, man, I’m hungry now” Sokka complains curling around his stomach. 

Understandable, Sokka.

“Please tell me this place still exists and the Fire Nation didn’t burn it down or anything” Zuko leans up and gives Sokka a dirty look at that statement, but deep down, he knows. He knows that Sokka is right. There is a chance that this bakery that Kali talks about is long gone. Kali focuses and draws her hands down in front of her to bend some apples. It is not a tart, but right now, this is the best she can do. She throws them around the group.

“I know it’s nothing fancy but…” Kali defends and turns an apple around in her hand. Zuko stands as Bing runs off, dragging Sokka’s pack with him.

“Bing” Zuko scolds but all it does is cause Bing to run faster. Katara sits next to Kali as she bites into the apple as the two of them watch Zuko disappear into the dark of the trees.

Wow, Search Engine did something mildly interesting. I’m mildly impressed, in kind.

Get… to… the… point!: 312

“You never told us about the whole skin thing” Katara whispers to Kali who glances at her. She has made mention of her slavery past, but nothing about the way she felt about her skin.

“It is something that I have come to terms with” Kali assures Katara. “Katara, you don’t have to worry about me”

“Of course, I do” Katara argues. “You’re my friend and…..” Katara’s eyes flicker to Kali’s neck. Her collar isn’t there anymore, but there are still marks on her neck from it. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH IT

Get… to… the… point!: 313

Even in the dark, Katara knows what they look like. “And you’ve been through so much….” Katara looks away and shrugs. “Does it hurt?” She asks. “Thinking about….what you went through?”

“A little” Kali answers. “But my life is better now…I have my freedom” Katara turns back to her. “I have my friends…I have Bing and Ran-Ya” Kali smiles softly. “And I have Zuko….” Katara unconsciously flinches with the mention of Zuko but she tries to hide it. It is very clear that Zuko being here makes Kali happy. Kali is Katara’s friend. And she is trying. She wants to try. To push past her own past trauma to see the person that Kali sees when she looks at Zuko. “Zuko makes me very happy” Kali states firmly, with complete conviction.

“I want to be okay with him being here” Katara admits quietly. “But I can’t…the Fire Nation…they have taken so much…” Kali shakes her head.

No. Katara hates Zuko personally. She only accepts him when he demonstrates to her how she’s changed. Stop misunderstanding her character here.

Get… to… the… point!: 321

Sentenced. To. Death: 454

“Zuko is not to blame for the crimes of those that came before him or the crimes of those that command the armies” Kali whispers to Katara. “And he might have hunted Aang, and you, but he only ever did it because he thought it would allow him to go home….what lengths would you go to, to go home, after losing everything else…?” 

I still don’t think that would be enough to convince Katara.

Get… to… the… point!: 323

Katara closes her eyes and looks away. “He wants to help….he wants to be here….And you don’t have to love him, just accept it” Katara takes a deep breath before turning back to Kali only to find her walking away, heading off in search of Zuko and Bing.

Buh-bye, Kali. And with that, we’re done with the fic.

As for the counters:

Sunny Scene Change: 7

Be Original!: 66

Get… to… the… point!: 323

Sentenced. To. Death: 454

Sadly (or fortunately, I guess), we weren’t able to get a bingo on the final board:

Now, for the fic overall:

7/10, it was okay.

…you wanted more? Fine, have the giant monologue that I’m also posting in the comment section of the fic itself in hopes of getting the author to improve their craft:

Overall, I think most of the canon characters were fairly in-character. Again, there were some moments that needed work, but I usually understood their actions.

However, this fic has flaws. Lone-wolf-fanfics, I’m writing this review because I can see how much potential you have as a writer and it’s a genuine shame that you suffer from these problems. I hope you can take my criticism and improve your craft. You can do so much better than this.

As for the fic’s grasp of spelling, punctuation, and grammar; it’s not terrible. The fic suffers from far too many ellipses in dialogue (in what is an attempt to make it seem more lifelike, I presume), which makes it annoying to read. Please, cut down on these. Another issue is the proliferation of sentence fragments, to the point that the prose becomes choppy and hard to keep track of. These should be reduced. The fic also has some paragraphing problems. Please don’t mash up multiple characters’ lines into one giant paragraph. There should be a distinct paragraph every time a different character speaks. Overall, I would suggest getting someone else to look over your chapters before posting them. A good beta reader could improve your readability greatly (I got someone else to read over this review to make sure I didn’t come off as overly mean). If you want, I can at least temporarily help with that.

One more thing; the fic has a tendency for characters to go on long, single-paragraph internal monologues. While this isn’t inherently always bad, I do wish we got to see the characters’ thoughts expressed through their actions more. Don’t just tell me that Kali is a good person, show me by having her do good deeds and helping out individual members of Team Avatar. Don’t just tell me Zuko misses Kali, have him act anxiously, constantly going back to some item he has that reminds him of her. That way I will understand what’s going on without the characters explicitly spelling it out to me. While you’re at it, please, please, please stop having characters repeat the same thoughts over and over again. It’s really repetitive, and really irritating. Just show (or if necessary, tell) me what you want to communicate once and move on. This will help prevent many of your fic’s scenes from dragging.

Now, as for the story itself, I do have some issues. 

Please, please, please, stop copying and pasting canon dialogue. If I wanted to see the lines from ATLA itself, I would watch that. But when I come here to read a fanfic, I want to see what you have to say about something! Unless you’re making a major change to a scene that already happened in canon, just give me a brief reminder of the scene. When you write original storylines, you clearly display to me that you have creativity and the ability to come up with unique ideas. With a larger focus on that, and some tweaking, you could have a truly incredible fanfic here.

Now, I generally think you do a good job keeping canon characters as they are in canon itself, or in ways that make sense and are satisfying. I do wish you didn’t have Kali simply do canon actions of other characters so frequently; again, I want to see how you take canon and expand upon it! There are a few other times where simply repeating the plot of ATLA itself causes problems here; Zuko goes to speak to Iroh in prison but doesn’t free him (I presume, since we don’t see Iroh again after that), even though he’s already against the Fire Nation. Overall, I think that you are perfectly capable of writing Zuko and the other ATLA characters well if you simply focus on creating your own work.

I also think that Bing and Yan-Ra could use some expansion–I wish they did more. Have them run off, get into trouble, have their own storylines! Make them clearly distinct. Momo and Appa are well-fleshed out characters interesting enough to have their own episodes, make your OCs fleshed-out as well. I might suggest making Bing be an original species of some kind, or perhaps one of the canon species in Avatar (there’s a wiki that has lots of great information for such searches, go check it out!). There’s no need to copy other works.

Now, to Kali. First of all, I like Kali. She does have some problems, yes, but as a character I find that she is an overall decent character. I especially think her relationship with Zuko was pretty wholesome. More of that, please! What I was less of a fan of were some of the other directions she goes in. I don’t especially like the way she treated the kids in the Gaang as if they were little kids, and think their relationship needs more development. There was one line during the Ba Sing Se arc where she implied that she wouldn’t care if King Kuei was murdered simply because she doesn’t know him. That makes her seem quite heartless, especially given how deeply she cares for animals and plants. I also find that there’s a bit of an overmuch focus on how much angst each plot point causes Kali to feel. It’s rather tiring, and I wish we had more variety there. 

At the start of the fic, Kali seems to flip-flop between acting like a little girl and acting like an adult. It’s kinda creepy, and I think you should do some research if you intend to portray this as a coping mechanism from trauma or something like that. Otherwise, I’d just have her act like an adult the whole time. One thing I did like was Kali’s fear of the dark, though I think it deserved more expansion (and an earlier mention, possibly in the caves under Ba Sing Se). You could tie that more clearly into her past, too. Again, more research into nyctophobia and how trauma impacts an individual’s psychology would definitely help.

I also wish the slavery was elaborated on more thoroughly. The presentation is very confusing; was Kali forced into prostitution or simply used for household labor? Did Raya (whose name you later misspelled as Rana) actually care for Kali, or at least pretend to do so in order that Kali be attached to her, or was Raya just evil and abusive for evil’s sake? The slave book I found especially strange; I simply don’t see why her owners would bother passing down a book about how to control one particular slave. It also makes little sense that they all tried to suppress her powers when she would logically be a very powerful weapon to use if they could manipulate her to do their will. It’s very unclear if her owners recognized her powers or not, and if so, why they would abuse rather than use her. While slavery as an element is not present in the original world of Avatar, I do think it is possible to incorporate it into your own version of this world. I would suggest doing some research into how real-world slavery worked so that you can accurately portray how utterly horrible it was in your own story. Additionally, I think you could put some more thought into a clear timeline of Kali’s backstory. I would suggest using flashbacks to show it to the audience even though the main story is set later. 

Now, I have one major suggestion left, probably bigger than all the other ones: there should be no naturebending. As much as it is something that you came up with originally, it also doesn’t fit into this world whatsoever. You’ve given naturebenders access to all four elements–essentially they’re all Avatars–and more. How on earth could such a people ever be killed off by the Firebenders? Unlike the Air Nomads, they have firebending! They’re far too powerful for such a backstory to work. Now, as it stands, I see two solutions: make Kali a waterbender, or make her powers the result of a spirit.

If Kali is a waterbender, you can remove the green skin (which wasn’t even on the cover or the AI images of Kali anyway) and most of her powers. Maybe Tian Tang is similar to the Foggy Swamp waterbenders; only in a forest. Kali can still use her powers to bend plants, but she wouldn’t be so vastly overpowered as to make the Avatar meaningless. This would give the story more stakes since Kali can’t defeat her enemies so easily. Personally, I would go with this.

However, there is another possibility that you could go with; having Kali be fused with a spirit. Spoilers for Legend of Korra, but the Avatar spirit is actually named Raava and long before the main series, she fused with the first Avatar, Wan, creating the first Avatar. Perhaps Kali fused with a nature spirit of some kind, allowing her limited control of natural elements and coloring her skin green. I still wouldn’t give her all the Avatar powers, but it’s the only reasonably canon-plausible way I could see to give her the green skin, since spirits sometimes cause physical changes in mortals if they fuse with them.

One last thing: you should ax the character bios at the beginning and simply start with the prologue. Readers can learn about your characters, ideas, and world by reading the story itself. I know it’s common on Wattpad, but the character bios simply made me expect a story that was far worse than what you actually wrote. You don’t need them.

Hopefully, you can take my constructive criticism and use it to improve, whether it be by editing this fic or writing better on others. I hope to see your future work, and I wish you the very best!

…

And whaddaya know, the author responded. They were very cordial, and while they were somewhat defensive about some aspect of the work, they did seem to appreciate the comment and want to improve for the future.

…then I asked if I could make a rewrite, which somehow resulted in them finding this riff. They did get mad at its existence, but when I told them I wouldn’t take it down, they just got defensive about writing fanfiction. Anyway, I won’t be doing a rewrite, and hopefully they can still take the concrit above to heart. Lone-wolf-fanfics, if you’re reading this, know I hold absolutely nothing against you whatsoever, and I hope you can write even better in the future.

Anyway, another couple of announcement “chapters” have been posted since I finished this riff, but I’m not covering them or any other chapters of this fic that may be added in the month before this comes out or afterward (though I did somewhat MST the announcement in the comments of the fic itself, before the author found this riff). I’ve spoken with the author, said my piece, and I am officially ending my riff of Wild At Heart.

That’s it for now. I’ve been Linstar, this has been Wild At Heart, and I’m tired. Next week, I’ll probably do something seasonal, later dipping back into the insanity that is Kelly the Roman Warrior. See y’all then!

–Ls