0314: Wild At Heart (Shut Up!) Chapters Thirty, Thirty-One, Thirty-Two, Thirty-Three, and Thirty-Four (Wattpad numbering)

Wild At Heart (Zuko) 

Title: Wild At Heart (Zuko) 

Author: Lone-wolf-fanfics

Topic: Avatar: The Last Airbender

Genre: Hurt/Comfort (emphasis on hurt)

Critiqued by Linstar.

*A trapdoor opens in the center of the riffing chamber, and Ls’ head peeks through, scanning for anyone else.*

Okay, I think the orderlies have been distracted enough by that fight I started in the Cafeteria for me to be able to have a single riff on my terms, in my chamber, without Em’s “lock them all up together so I can have some peace and quiet” nonsense, or Bats trying to kidnap me, for that matter. It’s too bad Nurse Jimson and Brian had to have a falling out like they did, but hey, that’s life. 

Anyway, hello everyone, and welcome back to the Asylum and Wild at Heart; the fanfic where our favorite knockoff Poison Ivy Sue just got a useless Digimon (which might be related to the fic’s name) to accompany her in regurgitating the second season of ATLA. Our bingo board and counters are thusly:

Be Original!: 21

Sentenced. To. Death: 173 

Get… to… the… point!: 90

Readers

Yes?

0309: Wild At Heart (Zuko): Chapters 27-32

Wild At Heart (Zuko) 

Title: Wild At Heart (Zuko) 

Author: Lone-wolf-fanfics

Topic: Avatar: The Last Airbender

Genre: Hurt/Comfort (emphasis on hurt)

Critiqued by: Linstar 

Hello, wonderful Wardens and lunatics, and welcome back to the Asylum. Last time on WaH, Death Kermit got amnesia, only to have it reversed for no reason. There was also a mountain of plot regurgitation, and that’s about it. The bingo board and counters are thusly:

Sentenced. To. Death: 150

Be Original!: 12

Get… to… the… point!: 73

0271: Suvian at Heart: Chapters 13, 14, 15, 16

Wild At Heart (Zuko)

Title: Wild At Heart (Zuko) 

Author: Lone-wolf-fanfics

Topic: Avatar: The Last Airbender

Genre: N/A; the fic is hosted on Wattpad and AO3

Critiqued by: Linstar and Carlisle Cressington

Heeeello and welcome back to the Asylum! I’m Linstar, and this is Carlisle Cressington! Say hi, Carlisle!

Carlisle: I refuse to dignify you with a response.

Carlisle is one of my PPC Agents, and I’ve featured his partner Mina in a few of my riffs, though it’s been a while. For some reason I don’t understand, Carlisle didn’t want to riff this fic with me; I had to get Mina to help me bring him here the same way I get Shoe to come. 

Carlisle: Has it not occurred to you that you are a megalomaniac and a danger to those around you, or that I might like a BREAK from dealing with yet more awful fanfiction?

*Ls sticks his tongue out at Carlisle*

Carlisle: I can see why Mina helped you with this task.

Also, I’ve decided to add counters:

Sentenced. To. Death: For when the fic has unnecessary sentence fragments.

Be Original!: For when the fic steals scenes directly from canon.

And of course, we have our bingo card:

With that in mind, let’s begin!

0268: Back to the Frollo – Chapters 2-4

Title: Back to the Frollo

Author: Crazedwriter/Frollo Freak

Medium: Film

Topic: The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Disney)

Genre: N/A

URL: chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4

Critiqued by: Yuki, the snow poet; Linstar; BatJamags

*A bubble-shaped contraption appears in the riffing chamber in a flash of light, and Bats jumps out wearing a ring with an “L” on it*

Bats: Sorry I’m late! … Yes, I know I just got out of a time machine, the controls are difficult.

*Ls surreptitiously climbs in an open window with a rope and grappling hook.*

Ls: Ahem, perfectly normal. I’m definitely not doing anything suspicious here. I was certainly not smuggling in barbeque chips. There is nothing under my shirt.

Yuki: And here is where the fic gets interesting, for a given value of that word. Warning for racism (coming from a black character no less), and disturbing sexual imagery.

0254: Suvian At Heart: Chapters 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12

Wild At Heart (Zuko) Chapters 

Title: Wild At Heart (Zuko) 

Author: Lone-wolf-fanfics

Topic: Avatar: The Last Airbender

Genre: N/A; the fic is hosted on Wattpad and AO3

Critiqued by Linstar.

Heeello, my fellow perving sick-os, and welcome back to the Asylum and Wild At Heart. Last time, we had some glimmers of potential for Death Kermit’s character and way too much word-for-word dialogue regurgitation. Also sentence fragments.

Also, I know Em Kay came up with the idea a month or so ago, but I’m doing the bingo thing too.

I’ve made a megaboard with 92 different possibilities (tell me any suggestions to add in the comments!), and if you want an autogenerated card of your own, here’s a link.

So far I have “follows the canon plot with an OC added”, “incredibly OP Sueperpowers”, “Mary Sue”, “setting-breaking addition to canon”, “sentence fragments”, and “pointless character bios”, and “Sue is some kind of new species”.

Let’s see what it has in store for us today!

Chapter 8: Chapter Five

*Silent alarms blare*

*The DCB march into Ls’ riffing chamber, handing him a stack of paperwork. They leave the mountain of paperwork behind, exiting via the entrance. *

I’m gonna need to come up with some countermeasures for this fic, given how often it summons those guy.

0219: Demon Who Lived – Chapter 4

Title: Demon Who Lived

Author: Blades of Silver

Topic: Harry Potter/Inuyasha

Media:Anime, Literature, Film, Manga

Genre: Supernatural/Adventure

URL: Chapter 4

Critiqued by: Em Kay and Conan the Snakebarian

Greetings and salutations, Wardens and lunatics. I’m Em Kay and Conan stepped out for a minute, but should be back soon.

Today we’re continuing the ridiculousness that is Demon Who Lived, against our better judgement. Last time, Ky’n of Harry the unrecognizable fox demon got mad at people for not recognizing him, strategically overheard a plot by Dumbledore and Cornelius Fudge to use a random fox demon against the Dark Lord, and then angrily went along with it. Oh, and then there was some pointless destruction of a random hallway.

We didn’t add anything to the Bingo Board last time, but here it is for reference.

Still waiting on those gemstone orbs for our Double Bingo.

0212: Demon Who Lived – Chapter 3

Title: Demon Who Lived

Author: Blades of Silver

Topic: Harry Potter/Inuyasha

Media:Anime, Literature, Film, Manga

Genre: Supernatural/Adventure

URL: Chapter 3

Critiqued by: Em Kay and Conan the Snakebarian

Greetings and salutations, Wardens and lunatics. I’m Em Kay, your snarker for the day, and this-

*Em is immediately drowned out by the sounds of sawing, hammering, and various other construction noises erupting from the Line Break Lean-to. Em appears to yell something and has suddenly always been holding a large bullhorn.*

AND THIS IS CONAN!

*The construction noises stop and Conan peeks his head out of the Lean-to, flipping up his welding helmet and looking somewhat annoyed.*

Ahem? *Em gestures toward the laptop on her desk.*

*Conan rolls his eyes, flips the helmet back down and returns to the Lean-to. The construction noises resume, but at a substantially lower volume.*

As I was saying, we’re still slogging through this semicolon riddled badifc, but we’re halfway done so… yay?

Last time, the fic narrowly avoided having an interesting battle happen so it could instead focus on Kaede’s bullshit Jedi mind powers “unlocking” Ky’n of an Idiot’s supposed memories of events that were, at best, highly implausible. Somehow knowing he was a fox demon-turned-pet-turned-wizarding baby convinced him that he now has the power to defeat Tom, so watch out, MySpace.

Let’s just have a reminder of where we stand on the Bingo Board…

Ah yes. Perilously close to Bingo (Double Bingo if we use the free space) and still three chapters left to go. Might as well get to it.